The Anatomy of a Broken Heart //Completed//

51. Caleb

My dad taught me that a smile can release as many endorphins as you'd obtain artificially if you were high. A real smile. Like the one I wore all the way home from school. If this was what Santana felt whenever she took her happy pills, I couldn't blame her. I hadn't felt so giddy in so long. Finally, finally, there was real hope. Something I could tangibly hold on to, this promise that all wasn't lost between Farrah and me. She wanted me to have a plan for the future, so I'd give her one. What did I care about my future if she wasn't in it? I'd give her the best damn plan she'd ever seen. Best part was, I didn't even have to make it myself.

I got home so fast, I didn't even remember the way. Dad was in his study, looking over some files, the frown lines around his mouth deepening as he read on.

"Knock, knock," I said, stopping at the door. This wasn't a place I frequented, so I didn't know the protocol, even if it was my own father.

"Caleb," surprise colored his voice. "Come in. What's up?"

"Nothing. I kind of wanted to talk with you about something that I've been thinking a lot about." Exactly 1.5 seconds.

"Oh?"

I took a seat in the chair across his desk. I never understood why he had these here if he never saw anyone. Up close they looked so glossy and new, the leather barely touched, I wondered vaguely if anyone had ever sat in them before. On the wall behind him, dad had a few certificates hung, next to a picture of the three of us smiling a little forcefully. I couldn't remember where or when it was taken, but I had to have been only around thirteen or fourteen.

"Is something wrong at school?"

"No. Everything is going well. That's what I wanted to talk to you about though. School." I cleared my throat a little nervously; the determination I had earlier was rubbing off on the pristine leather seat, leaving me to deflate under my father's confused frown. "I mean, I'm doing so well and I scored pretty high on the SAT. Higher than you did when you were my age," I laughed a little nervously, but dad gave me a small smile of acknowledgment. "Well, I was just sort of wondering, you know, seeing as I haven't made many plans for after graduation—"

"I thought you wanted to, what was it you said? "Take some time to find what you're meant to do." Didn't you want to travel a little?" He didn't say it mockingly, but I knew he didn't approve. Mom was all for it because in her eyes, I didn't need to work if I didn't want to. We had all the money we'd ever need. While I thought that was an excellent idea, I also never wanted to just live off of my parent's money. The fact that I had no idea what I wanted to do didn't mean I didn't want to do anything. I just wasn't sure. Until today.

"I do. I'm not thinking about jumping in the very first semester, seeing as I've missed most of the important deadlines. But I also don't want to take the whole year off like I'd planned."

He set down and closed the file he was reading, finally giving me his full attention. "What are you telling me, Caleb? That you're planning on going to school for..." he trailed off.

"Medicine. Like you, dad."

His eyes narrowed, scrutinizing my face. I thought he'd be happy, but all I could see was doubt in his features.

"Why? What made you change your mind?"

"It's just time to buckle down."

"Mhmm."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek while he thought.

"Well, I think that's a wonderful idea. I'm glad you've finally come around. I'm sure Farrah will love that idea as well." He picked up the file again but didn't read it. His head cocked a little to the side, his eyes never leaving my face. "How is that going by the way?"