The Anatomy of a Broken Heart //Completed//

56. Santana

The train chugged loudly onto the platform and the five of us jumped on, competing with grumpy business men and women in disheveled work clothes and sweaty foreheads, who were trying to get off. Pari said she had to stay home because she was sick, but I had the sneaking suspicion she'd stayed back to do homework. That left JD, Jonah, Zealand, Marlow, and me, ready for the concert. There were a lot of kids on the train like us, and I knew immediately they were all going the same way. The girls had lined their eyes extra dark and the boys wore their skinniest jeans. My eyes slid towards Jonah and JD and I chuckled at the pants they wore, which probably didn't let them move very comfortably. Zealand looked exactly like he always did, aloof and ready to break some hearts with his sad boy eyes. Two girls were already staring at him and giggling behind stick on finger nails, but he didn't care to notice.

A boy who looked our age looked at Marlow, trying to catch her eye, but she was having none of it. Her head was bowed and her eyes glued to the cellphone in her hand, which I knew was locked. The boy didn't look away though, which gave me a chance to look at him properly. He was handsome, a dimple in his cheek, and hair the color of sand. There was something familiar about him and it took me all of ten seconds to figure it out. He looked like Caleb. Not as if they were related, despite the hair, but in the way he carried himself: relaxed, but alert. It made me think of yesterday, something I was trying to avoid completely.

The breakup, real or not, had felt wrong. Too sudden. The signs had all been there, and when I least expected it, without regard to anything, my lips were spilling out the words before my mind could catch up. It's as if the cells in my body rejected him like an organ that didn't quite fit. In that moment, I'd felt a burden lift off my shoulders, but when I got home and sat on my bed, I wondered what that relief had been for. Getting rid of Caleb, or getting rid of the plan to get Jasper back? I couldn't just let Caleb go. We couldn't just be strangers again, and that was the most difficult truth for me to accept. He meant as much to me as Mar or Zealand and it had hurt to cut the thin thread which bound us.

The train whistled loudly and the doors began to close. There was a shuffle of bodies and a few shouts of anger as the ripple grew closer to us. From the cluster of people by the doors, someone popped out like a baby and almost landed at our feet.

"Sorry I'm late," Caleb said breathlessly. "I just got your text." He didn't look at me, which was lucky because he'd have thought I had gone into some kind of fit. Instead, he looked at Marlow who smiled back at him widely.

I guess the phone wasn't locked after all.

The train lurched forward, rocking the people standing back and forth.

"Hey," Caleb nodded at everyone and finally looked at me.

"What are you doing here?"

He looked a little hurt but masked it quickly with a smile. "I was invited."

"But I thought—"

"Besides," he leaned in closer, so only I could hear him, "what kind of friend would I be if I missed your birthday party?"

"A pretty terrible one," I smiled back. "I'm glad you're here." I scooted over on my seat, making a little space for him to sit.

The girls who had been staring at Zealand were now gawking at Caleb, which made me think they'd stare at any pretty face that crossed their paths. I winked at them and they burst into a fit of giggles and sat back whispering. When they moved my heart skipped at the sight of a boy. When I got a good look at him, I realized it wasn't Jasper but his brother Elliot. I was seeing ghosts everywhere tonight. There was a crowd of kids sitting and standing around him, but I made sure not to look their way again for the whole ride. If Elliot was here, Jasper could be too and I didn't want to see him yet. Neither my head nor my heart were ready to see him, caught unawares. I needed prep time. Even now, my heart was still slamming in my chest from the shock of seeing Elliot. Or was that because of Caleb?