I took life. That is the sentence the judge gave me when I accepted you and all of you. I was bound to you, stuck in your trap, enslaved in your walls, locked behind your bars while you dangled the key in front of my face. It was either my life or my soul and I chose life. I did not realize that it did not matter what I chose at that point in time because while the spirit was willing to let you go, the flesh was not. As long as I breathe, move, and have my being, my flesh would always weaken to you.
I was your prisoner. I longed for an escape from your presence, your memory, your being. The price of escape being death just as that of the price of sin. Will I be able to do for myself what Jesus did for the world? To sacrifice myself? At this I say: my choice is death. I take death. That is the option I choose when I decide to let go of you and all of you. No longer bound to you, trapped to you, enslaved to you. Exchange the key for a blade and I will shed my blood for myself like the messiah for gods children. I will save myself and my flesh will no longer be willing while my spirit and soul are free.
