Sometimes I sit and I think "do I really want to die? Am I capable of being my own murderer? Am I willing to beat God at his own game?" Death scares me, however I would rather be dead than alive. To live everyday with an underlying sadness, drama and mess, to carry the blame only on my shoulders... it is not a life worth living. To be trapped inside the prison that is my mind, to fight a battle that I don't even fight for myself but for everyone around me... I can not do it anymore.
My body, soul, and mind are drained. I can no longer fight with the passion I once had, especially when the person I love the most does not have my back when I need it. But it is fine. Because soon enough, I'll die and wither and won't need this world anymore. I will be free.
