You know what my problem is? I'm damaged.
No, I take that back. I don't think that me being damaged is the problem, me liking the fact that I'm damaged is the problem. I like the self destruction, it scares people and I like it. Because the damaged people are always more interesting, the damaged people always have the better stories to tell.
I have another problem. Would you like to know? The problem is that I cut myself.
No, I take that back. The problem is that I like cutting myself. I like the way the scars look on my arms and I like the self inflicted pain, it worries people and I like it. Because the cutters have a tale for each cut, each scar and each drip of blood.
I have a problem. I want to get better but I can't.
No, I take that back. The problem is that I don't want to get better. I don't want to have it under control, I'm out of control and I like it. Because being out of control gives me substance. Being out of control gives me depth.
There's a big problem.
I want to not like these things but I do, I know it's wrong, I know it's selfish but being like this is all I know. It's all I've come to be accustom to. I don't remember what it's like to actually be me, I don't think I've ever actually been me, I don't know how to find myself. Maybe if I meet who I'm actually meant to be then I won't have these problems, maybe I'll actually enjoy happiness.
Maybe instead of a problem, I'll be a person again.
