" but i still love him. . . "
-
Murdoc Niccals and Stuart
Pot also known as 2D are "friends
with benefits" Murdoc is abusive towards
2D , but he didn't care. He begins having
feelings towards the "badass" satanic man.
2D keeps a secret diary w...
Noodle and I went shopping, it was fun honestly, we bought all kinds of clothes. I even got my nails painted multicolored. I didn't mind it, it was relaxing, we also got massages. We arrived home, the door was unlocked, Noodle went up to her room to put her stuff away, I looked around the house. Murdoc's music could be heard from his room, usually that meant he was drunk. I couldn't really understand why, since he drank awfully a lot the day before. I knocked the door to his room, "BEAT IT" was heard afterwards. I took a deep breath and opened the door, he turned his head over to me quickly then rolling his eyes and went back to drinking.
"Everything okay?" I asked tapping my fingers together, even though we're together, he's still a scary person to be around. "You know what Stuart?! You should have just stayed over with Paula, I'm sure you would be even happier than having to be with a fuck up who just drinks. As a matter a fact, I should have just let those bloody pirates take you away!" That last sentence made me jump, where was all this coming from? Tears formed in my eyes, he basically said he regretted saving my life.
I ran back into my room, Murdoc is somewhat a fuck up, but that doesn't truly matter to me. I love Murdoc for who he is, even if he's kind of a fuck up who drinks a lot and doesn't trust me with most of his personal situations. I've been in my room for 3 hours just silently crying. As I'm writing this, the only reason he would be saying that is if he read this journal, where I talked about the kiss. I had forgotten to place the journal back in place.
I messed up, I fucked up badly, I wish I had just forgotten about the kiss, I wish Paula had never even done it. Maybe Murdoc is right, maybe he should had never saved me from those pirates, I really do deserve this. He doesn't deserve this, he deserves someone better.
A/N
Hi things are going to get fucked up in the story for next chapter, prepare yourself.
Also my girlfriend and I played Papa's Freezeria yesterday, fucking get on our level boi 1!!!!1!!1 I had a formal dance yesterday as well and I look fucked:
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