Jacob Frye x Reader

Chapter 21 - What the hell just happened

"Owning the railway wasn't enough. Now Starrick has brought an omnibus company as well. I suppose he wants to control the neighbourhood's workers and keep them under his thumb." Henry said as we gathered in the main carriage, where books upon books and piles upon piles of paper were occupying the desk.

"Pearl Attaway is Starrick's competitor, is she? Perhaps it's time I went into business." Jacob then said and I made a mental note to join him.

"And Miss Frye? What are your plans?" Henry said as he looked towards Evie.

"I studied the history we've recovered from the Kenway Mansion's hidden room. I'm off to a certain monument." Evie replied to him before turning towards me. "How about you (Name)? What are your plans?"

"I might stick around with Jacob, and help him with whatever he needs with this Pearl." I replied, to which Jacob then spoke up.

"I don't think that's a good idea (Name). I mean, you've only had a few hours of rest, that's not enough time to heal, especially since you're still in pain. And don't say that you're not, because I can see that you are." I knew that he was right, I was still in pain, I could feel my wounds start to sting the longer I stand up. But I refuse to rest while we have things to do. I also want to be by his side.

"I'll be careful, I promise. You can't stop me from going back out into the field."

"I can't be worrying about you instead of focusing, so please, just stay here and get some rest." Nothing more was said as I knew he was right, but I didn't want to stay on the train. I didn't want to rest anymore. If I lay down and rest, I'm only going to think about what happened a few hours ago.

A few hours earlier

He leaned in closer and I closed my eyes in anticipation, waiting for the kiss to come. I could feel his breath upon my lips, the anticipation killing me as I waited for the feeling of his lips on mine. I waited for a few seconds, but nothing happened. Feeling confused, I opened my eyes and saw that he was no longer looking at me, but looking down to the floor.

"I'm sorry, but we shouldn't." He whispered out. I placed my hands on the side of his face, forcing him to look at me.

"Jacob?" Was all I could say as I looked at him in confusion, noticing the conflicting emotions in his eyes. He placed his hand on mine, holding it for a few moments before, what looked to be rather reluctantly, pulling away as he let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry (Name), but we can't."

"Why not?" My hands dropped to the side of my body, trying to create a bit of distance between us.

"We just can't!" He voice was rather loud and I couldn't help but flinch from the intensity of his voice as I moved away from him. He must've noticed how I flinched as his eyes softened. "You should get some rest (Name), you've been through a lot." He didn't say anything else as he walked away, leaving me all alone. Before he left, I noticed the look in his eyes, the look of a man who blames himself for something. I tried to speak, to call his name and get him to come back, but alas he was too far away to hear me. With a heavy heart, I lied down and closed my eyes, wanting to forget about everything that's happened and just sleep.

Present

After remembering what happened, I shook my head and said,

"You're not still blaming yourself for what happened, are you? I told you that it wasn't your fault, so why are you blaming yourself?"

"Because I wasn't there for you, I found you too late, after the damage was done." He replied.

"Look, I'll be fine, I'll stay out of the way if that's what you want, but I want, no I need, to get out back in the field. It's what I do, it's what I love. So, I got hurt, but that's what happens in this lifestyle. We get hurt and we move on, we don't let something like this stop us from doing what we need to do." I said.

"Even still, you're not coming with me and that's final." Before I could say anything else, he walked out of the train.

"What the hell just happened?" I whispered out as I looked towards Evie and Henry.

"Did something happen between you two?" Evie begins to say. "I mean, I thought he would have loved to have you by his side, but now it's like he's creating some distance."

"That brother of yours is so confusing. One minute we're close and then the next he tries to push me away. Like what the hell? I understand that I'm injured, and yes it hurts like hell, but it's nothing compared to what I'm feeling right now."

"What do you mean (Name)?" Henry asked.

"A few hours ago, we had a moment, or we would have if he didn't pull away from me. We almost kissed again, and I wanted to kiss him. I thought he wanted to kiss me to, but he pulled away and said that we can't. I don't know if it's because that's what I did to him and he wanted to get back at me, or maybe it was something else. I don't get it, I know there is something between us, I can feel it. But it's like none of us are going to act on it, and it hurts." At the last few words, my voice was nothing more than a whisper.

"I'm sorry (Name), if you want, I can talk to him, try to get through his thick skull."

"I appreciate the offer, but I think I'm just going to leave it alone. Maybe we just don't have time for us to act upon what it is that's between us. Maybe I just need to wait until the time is right before I can allow myself to act upon my feelings. Perhaps now we're just too busy to allow ourselves to have time to do what we want." My heart begins to hurt at the thought of waiting, but maybe it will be worth it in the end. Maybe I just need to endure this pain before I can feel happiness.

"I'm sorry (Name). I can see that this is hurting you."

"I'll be fine. I now understand what George means by not allowing personal feelings to compromise a mission. They get in the way, leaving us unfocused on the task at hand. If Jacob wants to create distance between us, then so be it. Besides, he's right. I should get some more rest. After all, my body is stinging like hell from all the wounds. And I can still feel it twitching from all the electricity that was coursing through my veins." With that, I made my way back to my carriage and laid back down. 'Why must this be so complicated?' Was my last thought as a single tear fell from my eye. Just wanting to forget about these feelings, I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness.