miscellaneous thoughts ✔

Dragon's Excerpts {20} : Can You See Me?

I remember the day clearly. 

The sound of my heartbeat pounding in my ears, my shortness of breath, the terror in my eyes...

I remember it all.

The feeling of the hard, cemented wall, the unwelcome smell of cleaning products, the taste of my own blood in my mouth... the darkness.

The darkness, the horrifying darkness that engulfed me, the smells that had swirled around my head in circles, the smells that gave me nausea and headaches. 

A sudden light that had shone on me, right in my eyes. The confusion that settled in as I stared up at the ceiling, in an attempt to find the source of the light. 

"Take that, Jaila the slut!" a voice had yelled.

Whore!

D**k sucker!

Nerd!

Ni**er!

B*tch!

Freak!

Words, I never knew words could hurt so much..

"Jaila!" another voice yelled out, a familiar one that time.

Never had I thought that my own sister would betray me so...

A cylinder, a deep blue cylinder, that clambered beside me; they missed, or so I thought.

I moved farther away from the spot, but only seconds later, my life changed forever.

Burn. The burn was so intense; I felt as though a fire had spread inside of my bones and was trying to escape.

I remember it all.

The laughter that ensued as I fell to the ground, terrified, as my eyes burned and my vision dimmed. The bucket, the inanimate object used in the wrong way that landed on my head and rendered me unconscious. 

My skin, burnt as if it had been scorched by the sun. My scalp, an itchy disaster.

My doctor later told me that I had turned a ghastly peach color, when I was once a chocolate brown. My hair, which was once a deep, dark brown, now an oddly bleached blonde.

They poured bleach on my head, an entire bucket. I remained in that closet for days, unable to escape. Hunger and fatigue were a constant battle for me, but I kept fighting. 

I felt my way around, in search of an escape, but how could I escape the darkness, the internal darkness that for some reason didn't want to let me go?

After who knows how long, I was saved. The janitor found me, passed out in his mop bucket, my ankle broken and my skin peeled.

The hospital, where were the white walls? The clean white floors? I could smell the medicine of the sick, but where were they?

Doctors were able to salvage my eye tissue and whatnot, but the one thing they couldn't salvage was my eyesight. 

I lost my vision that day.

That horrible, cursed day.

Lucky you, the nurse had said.

You haven't lost your eyes.

Haven't I though? I responded.

I can no longer see. 

Sure, they are in my sockets, but what good are they?

I assume she just shot me a sad smile, full of pity.

Now I write, write in my brail, to my bullies.

Did you see me as me? 

Or was I just another obstacle, 

a feeble thing temporarily 

blocking the path to your destination?

Did you ever feel sorry for what you had done?

Even when you no longer torment me,

you still haunt me..

my terrible, terrible bullies.

A/N

This is probably going to be a weird poem/book type thing. You'll see, if I decide to go further with this.