miscellaneous thoughts ✔

Made Up Scenario

If My Boyfriend (that I do not have) Did a Golddigger Prank on me

~~

Guy comes up to me (a/n lol that is already a joke) and subtly starts a conversation before asking me out.

Me: I have a boyfriend.

Guy: Well, I mean.. I still want someone to share all of this stuff I spent money on. *pulls out Versace, Gucci, Prada purses and whatever the fudge people w/ money wear*

Me: Wow, you wasted money on all of that?! Good grief, you must be terrible with finances.

Guy: Nah, I've still got plenty of money. I make [insert large money value] a year.

Me: Well that's great and all, kudos to you, but as I've already stated, I have a boyfriend.

Guy: He doesn't have to know..

Me: Excuse me? Um, no, that isn't how it works. I told you that I am already in a relationship with someone so that is your cue to go.

Guy: I would like to date you, so none of that matters to me.

Me: *mutters* Grasshole.

Guy: What was that? *shakes head* Doesn't matter. *pulls something out of pocket* Here, take these, these are tickets to the NBA Playoffs. 

Me: *eyes widen* Are you serious dude? You just happen to have NBA Playoffs tickets in your freaking pocket?! And then for you to just give them away... *shakes head in awe*

Guy: I am offering them to you. Do you want them? *slides them across table to me*

Me: *picks them up and looks them over for a second before holding them up* You do realize if I take these I am giving them to my boyfriend, right? He really wanted to go to at least one of the NBA Playoff games, just like I do.

Guy: No, if you take them, you have to go with me as my date.

Me: Take these back. I do not want them. I was never going to actually take them. *hands them back* 

Guy: Are you sure you want to pass up such an offer—

Me: Listen here random guy who won't leave me the fudge alone,

Guy: Fudge?

Me: *ignores* I am my own independent self. It's great that you made all of this money and whatnot, props to you, but I can get that type of money myself. Hopefully one day I can become as successful as you, possibly even more successful. For now though, I am where I am and so is my boyfriend, who stands by my side and supports me one hundred percent. He may not make the most money, but he's my rock and I love him. He doesn't try to buy me, he just... loves me and for me that's okay. I don't need money and nice things to be happy. Plus, I fu*king hate purses so I would never take that. Literally if you ended up forcing me to take this stuff I'd sell it or something. No joke. 

Guy: You don't like purses?

Me: That is seriously all you got from that? *shakes head and stands up, retrieving papers and putting them in mini backpack*

Me: You've ruined the mood. The fact that you even remotely thought that I would be a golddigging bish and just leave my boyfriend like that is insulting. Go dive into a trash can, or as Mike Fox says, "get in the bin." 

Guy watches as I walk away, then turns and thumbs up the hidden camera guy.