"I love you, you know,"
In which Jeongguk is sick and Taehyung doesn't know what to do with himself.
** contains subjects that some may be considered sensitive. there are no chapter warnings. **
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Jeongguk POV
Taehyung is home and I couldn't be happier.
He's been very talkative which I'm thankful for. Once he asked me if there was a reason I was so quiet. I said no.
Because I knew nothing could bring me to tell Taehyung about how I couldn't control my thoughts all the time. And how sometimes the thoughts made me hate myself. And sometimes, more often than I'd like to admit, I took my frustrations out on my own body.
Still every time he asked how I was while he was gone I responded, "just fine," with a smile.
It's been a few weeks since he got home and now Taehyung was over at my house, as usual. The two of us were trying to decide on a movie to watch.
I wanted so badly to tell him that I didn't want to watch a movie, I just wanted to talk to him. I wanted to be able to talk about my feelings like a normal person.
But of course I couldn't say that. So when Taehyung asks what movie I want to watch I tell him, "whatever you want," and he thinks nothing of it.
We decide on The Lion King- a true classic. We end up on the couch, probably too close for comfort, but I can't help myself.
I have to admit I'm not paying attention to what's happening on the screen whatsoever. Taehyung catches me staring at him and my face flushes pink.
"You good?" He asks, placing a hand on my knee for reassurance. I nod and Taehyung must have read my mind when he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I smile and this time I mean it.
I'm awakened by soft whispers of my name in my ear and I realize I feel asleep during the movie, which was now over. "Sorry, I'm just exhausted," I say with a yawn.
"It's okay," Taehyung replies smiling. He sits up slightly so I'm no longer resting on his shoulder. I pout at the loss of contact. "I have something to tell you," he says excitedly.
Although this voice holds such happiness I can't help but be afraid of what he's about to tell me. I tilt my head in question.
"I met someone at school," he starts. I don't know why but my heart immediately sinks down further than I thought possible. I try to keep a neutral front.
"You did?" Is all I ask.
He nods. "Yeah, I mean we've been talking for a bit. Not sure if I'd call him a friend yet but we'll see I guess."
I'm conflicted. Part of me is happy that Taehyung has a friend other than me. Another part is filled with jealousy. Taehyung is too good to be shared with the world.
"His name's Jimin. You should meet him sometime! We could all be friends," he says.
Something inside me snaps. "Yeah, I'd love to meet my replacement! Why don't I go around making a bunch of new friends to just abandon when I die." As soon as I say those words I recognize that I shouldn't have.
Taehyung's smile falls off his face as he looks down at his hands, unsure of what to say. He ends up saying nothing, instead he looks at me, waiting for me to explain.
"Taehyung I-"
"Really Jeongguk? I get that you feel like I'm replacing you but that's not the case at all. I mean the least you could do is be a little happy for me. This was your idea after all."
I know he's right. I was the one that told him to branch out and here I am getting hit by reality. My mind is racing as I reach my hands to pull at my hair in a way to hopefully cope with the stress. By now the tears start to appear.
Taehyung takes a deep breath before spewing his thoughts. "You're being ridiculous. If you can't see how much I care about you then I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Am I not allowed to talk to anyone but you?"
"Don't say that. I can't help that I'm needy and annoying and I can't help that I can't go a day without seeing you and the only reason I cling so close to you is because I don't know how much longer I'll be able to. That thought terrifies me the most. Dying wouldn't seem so bad if it didn't mean I'd have to lose you." By now I can feel the tears running down my cheeks. I don't know what made me finally let out some of the emotions I've held back but I'm glad I did.
Or at least I thought I was glad until I saw Taehyung walk out my door without saying another word.
