The Coño Boy 1 & 2: Love What You Will

Chapter One: I Hate P.E.

BOOK ONE

I hate P.E.

All the while, akala ko when high school was over, no more P.E. Sa college.

In my university, you're required to take 4 semesters ng P.E.

Required of all 4 sems ang P.E. 101 Lecture and then bahala ka na pumili sa lahat ng P.E. classes na offered. My university even has Recreational Studies na according to our seniors is nothing but playing board games so puwede na rin.

During the Freshman Orientation sabi nila every Reg Week, dapat early ka pa so you can get P.E. 101 dahil sabi rin ng seniors lagi nauubos ang slots. I was able to do that last sem and natapos din sa PE 101. Pero just my luck, and proving the urban legend of the scourge to students that is AISIS —yung supposed to be high tech system for us to get our subjects, plus Katipunan traffic during 2nd sem Reg/Enrollment Week is like the tiangge in Greenhills pag Christmas Season. So by 10:30am, the only P.E. Classes na natira: Arnis, Table Tennis, Badminton, Softball, Basketball, and Swimming. And lemme just say, f*ck my life, mahaba pa yung line so, good luck to me.

Arnis I can do, requirement sa high school P.E. and we used it as choreo during one of our stage plays. Tabble Tennis and Badminton, sige. Pero swimming, I hate swimming. Marunong ako mag-swim pero I don't want it as my P.E. Class. Yung hassle lang kasi ng swimming classes. That means showering before and after tapos that also means maraming bitbit during P.E. days. Tapos 1st period pa sa umaga ang Swimming according sa postings. 7:30 am? No! No! No!

*Finally, my turn.*

Me: Good Morning, miss! Slots for P.E.?

Staff: Available Classes T/TH, Basketball Boys and Basketball Girls, Swimming

Me: Miss yung Arnis po, Badminton or Table Tennis?

Staff: No more slots. Reserved for scholars na lang na pre-enlisted ng Department nila.

Me: Hindi na puwede singit, Miss, please. Kahit sa Arnis po?

Staff: Sorry, 2 classes lang ang Arnis this sem, not unless scholar ka, hindi ka talaga ma-accomodate.

Me: Miss, wala na rin M/W classes for Rec P.E.?

Staff: Late ka na, Recreational P.E. next schoolyear na talaga. Ayaw mo ba kahit sa Basketball or Swimming? Ay wait,
W/F pala meron 10:30-11:30am Recreational P.E. 5 slots pa pero 3 lang ang reserved.

Me: May conflict po, Miss. NatSci: Science and Society.

Staff: Try mo pa-adjust sa ibang section. Sayang yung W/F na sched.

Me: Balik po ako, Miss. I will ask help from my Academic adviser

Staff: Sige, bigyan kita ng endorsement note, just approach me para hindi ka na pumila pagbalik mo.

Yes, may chance pa ako. At least no swimming or basketball.

_ _ _

Interdisciplinary Studies Department

De la Costa Hall.

Academic Adviser: Sorry, but you can't get a better NatSci sched than what you have. Department alloted class, so I can't allow you to have another sched. Wala ka pa namang required majors kaya mahirap i-justify yung schedule preference mo.

Me: Pero Sir, Swimming na lang available and I'm afraid of swimming. May childhood trauma po ako sa swimming pool.

*Palusot ko na lang, hopefully, it works.*

Academic Adviser: Naku, hijo. You will have to take whatever P.E. is available. You need The units for your QPI (Quality Point Index) bawal sa Freshmen ang below 18 units.