The Coño Boy 1 & 2: Love What You Will

Special Chapter Thirty-Two: University Secret Files

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13 mins ago

I know a lot of you will probably judge me. You have every right.

What I'm about to say will make me seem like the biggest jerk on campus.

I'm one of those guys you'd notice in the halls who looks so put together on the outside but is just too complicated on the inside. And here is why:

I have a girlfriend, and I have a so-called-secret. He's a guy, by the way. We're in this thing that we have no specific name for, but it's definitely our own.

I met my girlfriend back in high school and we've been together for almost two years now. She got admitted here for college from an all-girls high school affiliated with our university. While I met my so-called-secret just this semester. I bumped into him while I was running to get my girlfriend's laptop na nakalimutan ko and he fell; on the floor at first, and then he fell for me later.

My girlfriend is tough. She's a character unto herself. She makes it an effort to shine brighter than the rest. Nasa personality na talaga niya yon. She wants to be the star or the best at everything she sets her sights on; which I find both admirable and sometimes too much; especially when she's looking at just about anyone as competition. I can't blame her because that's how she was raised. There's this pressure for her to be number one because the rest of her siblings are also over-achievers. She has her set of priorities that's related to school and her family and our relationship comes in at third or sometimes fourth place depending on her latest distraction. She can be demanding when she wants and she can suddenly be the ideal girlfriend who is proud to show me off whether to her friends and her family.

My so-called-secret is fragile. He's brilliant but he doesn't realize how brilliant he is because he can be so simple and sweet in his ways. I don't even know if tama ba yung word na simple. Maybe more like "Simply amazing yet amazingly simple".

I already knew he was gay hours after I met him by the way. Yes, he was brave enough to admit that to me. He acts and decides with his emotions. Which makes him easy to please and dangerously easy to disappoint. And you don't want to see his face when he's disappointed. It's like he's on the verge of crying.

I never thought I would be this be attached to him.

My so-called-secret and I also started off with a sexual encounter less than 24 hours after I met him. I kinda got horny and he obliged. I just did not know that it was going to be his first time with another guy. Kahit daw handjob with someone else never pa. I had to guide him through it; during our first time.

Just to get it out there, I was about 16 when I got involved with teammate. This guy and I hit it off because we made a good team while playing. I won't mention the sport. Also, that guy is another story but let's just say he made the first move and I obliged. But that's all behind me.

Now, I have my so-called-secret. I don't know how much I have grown so attached to him in such a short time. He's like this naive kid at times that just goes with the flow. He knows my mood swings, he knows what can comfort me, he cooks for me, he knows how to please me although he hasn't surrendered himself to me entirely (alam niyo na yon, guys. I don't have to spell it out.), and he treats me like I'm his world.

It's easy sana to keep my girlfriend and my so-called-secret apart in campus kaso parang fate has played with me a little. Because although I have wanted most to avoid it, my girlfriend and my so-called-secret are working on a project together. They're working closely together and I have no control over it. All I can do is watch or give my moral support. Of course I fulfill my boyfriend duties with regards to my girlfriend and I do have a great friendship with regards to my so-called secret when in public. I'm lucky that he understands the situation. When we're together in private is another matter that will probably turn this into an R-18 post, if you get what I mean.

Maybe you're thinking I'm gay or bisexual or that thing I read here once on Facebook called a 'pansexual'.

I really have no specific answer to give you if you ask me. And I'm sounding cliche for saying I'm not into 'labels' for now.

I don't think it's going out of control but it's getting pretty tough to manage at times. Good thing they're both distracted by this project. As I type this, I'm waiting for them to finish with the work they need to do for the project.

I need some perspective. My friends an I stumbled upon this page once and spent time reading some of the stuff you posted here.

Valentines Day is a few days away, how do you suggest I handle it?

And if there's someone out there who can relate to this, I'll wait for your comments and tell me what you think. Kahit I know some of it will be harsh.

~The Tisoy Guy Seated at the Plastic Bench Typing Away
12 February