The Coño Boy 1 & 2: Love What You Will

Chapter Three: T@ng In A Mess, Wrong Car!

Guys, if you're ever enrolling in my University, just try to remember that pag sinabing first day of class, literally may class na. Hindi nagsasayang ng oras yung mga instructors namin dito. There are even those na bago ka pa maka-pasok on the first day, expected na nabasa mo na yung required readings ng course. May conspiracy yata ang registrar against me kasi almost all my core blockmates magkakasama sa classes. I feel na parang damong ligaw in a sea of other Freshmen blocks during my afternoon classes.

10:30 am to 12:00 pm English 14 - Same Professor as English 12 last sem, same block.
1:30 to 3:00 pm Filipino 11 - First Recitation from a classmate: "Kasi, Sir, parang it's like..." Parang na, like pa?
3:00 to 4:30 pm Math 12 - si X at si Y. Question: Si X ay iniwan ka, Y?

Buti na lang, I inherited my Dad's smarts. Even though tamad ako nung high school, alam ng mga teachers namin na I was a smart kid. If feel ko magsipag, good grades. If tinopak ako, good luck.

"Ting Ding-Ding-Dong!" My most awaited sound. End of class for the day. At parusa din yung instructor dahil we have to get our first assignment sa Xerox Ladies sa K Hall. Palabas na lahat ng tao sa room kaya I checked my phone. Nobody loves me = lock screen na walang laman. You know naman, may ini-expect message from a classmate this morning. Siguro nga hindi tuloy.

I went downstairs and headed to the Xerox Ladies para ma-claim yung copy ng Math 11 workbook. Reality ito for students na specific yung lessons ng instructors nila. May mga instructors na ginagamit yung generic departmental workbook, may mga gumagawa ng sarili nila. Yung Math 11 Instructor ko siguro walang lovelife kaya may time gumawa ng personalized book of torture.

Me: Miss, yung Math 12 ni Mr. Delgado
Xerox Lady: Part 1, 2, 3 o lahat na?

What the hell? Three parts? Okay wala na siyang lovelife, wala pa siyang life!

Me: Yung part 1 muna, Miss.
Xerox Lady: 120 pesos.

May naka-ready na sila? And nilabas ni Ate yung part 1 ng workbook. Ano to? Thesis? I don't wanna open this baka I might just die! Mabayaran na nga so I can head home.

Me: Here, Miss. Thank you po.

Vibrate-Vibrate-Vibrate.

Me: Hello?
Joaquin: Sean, where are you?
Me: Kostka. Just getting yung photocopy ng workbook ko.
Joaquin: I'm at Berch's sa likod ng building naka-hazzard.
Me: Sorry, wait. I'll run na. Wait for me there.

Wala namang warning si Joaquin. Hindi nagsasabi if tuloy or not. Basta sa kanya tuloy na walang cancel-cancel. Di ba mornings lang ang P.E. ko? And swimming ang P.E. Ko, not running. Pero yeah, kailangan ko tumakbo kasi bawal matagal na pick-up sa back ng Berch's Hall.

In less than 5 minutes. Nakita ko na yung car ni Joaquin na nilalapitan ng school guard. Yup, they're that strict.

Me: Manong Guard! Sorry, sorry! Kasalanan ko.
Guard: Ah okay po, sir. No problem.

I suddenly yanked the door handle open at

Driver: Sino ka?
Me: Huh?

Beep-beep! Napalingon ako sa sumunod na car na bumusina. Nauntog ang ulo ko sa top jamb ng car door kasi nasa next car pala si Joaquin at hindi na car ni Manong Driver. Sinara ko bigla yung door at mabilis na pumunta sa car ni Joaquin. I could see na pinagtatawanan niya ako sa through the windshield ng car niya. Nagmadali ako na buksan yung front passenger door and got inside his car. Tawa pa rin nang tawa si Joaquin!

Joaquin: Dude! Hahahaha -that was so- Hahahahaha! Sorry- that was so-

Lord, if this were a time na may giant green na tubo sa bigla na lang aappear sa ilalim ko so it will take me somewhere else gaya ni Super Mario, please make it now. I don't know why, alam ko funny siya pero I feel so embarrassed na pinagtatawanan ako ni Joaquin just now. Hindi ko namalayan na habang tumatawa siya nakahawak na yung right hand niya sa ulo ko.

Joaquin: Seriously though- Hahahahaha! Are you okay? Does it hurt?

Wow, ano ito? Caffune Levels na tayo? You lovingly combing your fingers through my hair? Less that one day, from banggaan to hawakan ng ulo? Parang may mali sa question na yon. But I can see the genuine concern kahit Joaquin was trying hard na hindi matawa. Nakita niya siguro yung mixed reaction sa mukha ko.

Me: I'm okay. Hindi naman malakas yung bump ko sa door.
Joaquin: You sure?
Me: I am! Sige na, masita pa tayo ng manong guard.

Pinaandar na ni Joaquin yung car. He drove towards the direction of gate 3 palabas ng campus. Sinilip ko siya sa gilid ng mga mata ko and he was still nagpipigil ng maliit na tawa niya.

Me: Sorry, ang tanga ko ba just now?

Tumawa na naman siya at napahigpit ang kapit sa steering wheel. Napalingon ako at natawa na rin. I got to stare at his face more. Napatingin ako sa teeth niya habang tumatawa siya. Pati ba naman ngipin ng taong ito, guapo rin? Napalingon siya bigla and caught me staring at him. He suddenly throws this smile na parang batang kindergarten kid na maasim-pa-cute smile. Oh Lord, here we go again.

To be continued...