The Coño Boy 1 & 2: Love What You Will

Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Play's the Thing.

[Author's Note: First Draft/Unedited]

Me: Sir, do you think I can learn it on time?

I ask Sir Ricky. We're seated malapit sa likod ng audience area ng mini theater. Hinanap ko talaga agad siya when I walked in.

Sir Ricky: I believe you can. The boy who read that sonnet yesterday is someone who looks very much like he can learn it —learn everything— on time.

Me: Sir, okay lang ba talaga yung pagbasa ko last night? I'm not that experienced and I feel —

Sir Ricky: Just stop right there. You're letting your own doubts build up way before you've even absorbed that I just gave you compliment.

*Yeah, I tend to do that. Umabot na kayo this far. You pretty much have an idea.*
Me: Sorry, Sir.

Sir Ricky: You have to do what all actors should do once they learn the words: "Play for truth." Every word or combination of words in that script you're holding is a collection of truths. Some sweet, some funny, some bitter — TRUTH in its infinite variety from the human experience — kahit na inexperienced ka pa. You get what I'm saying?

*I'll just nod for now. It's like listening to my Aunt Agatha tell stories of her experiences abroad while she was younger.*

Sir Ricky: It's like that dessert, the Halo-Halo. Part of the experience is layering your ingredients. Those many ingredients are your many truths: may malambot, may something chewy, may crunchy like the pinipig. You know, very few do actually, yung classic way to put the ube is to wipe it with the back of a spoon to the side of the glass. Many truths build up inside that parfait glass in their own way. The act of putting the play together is the same as gingerly pushing the spoon down the shaved ice and mixing from the bottom it slowly until it's mixed all the way up to the top of the glass.

*Now I understand why pag may interviews ng mga actors they say "Magaling mag-motivate si Direk." And nag-crave ako bigla for Halo-Halo. You owe me one, Joaquin.*
_ _ _

There's so much to learn. Na-disorient ako ng konti sa Stage Left at Stage Right; which is still my left when I'm facing the audience and if you're in the audience is your right naman. Bawal gumamit ng ballpen sa script. There's the obvious centerstage then upstage means the back and downstage means towards the audience area. You enter and exit from the area called the wings. Then there's this script.

*Now I understand why I read a Tagalog translation of the sonnet. The script is Shakespeare pero translated siya in Filipino. They actually do that? Galing, di ba?*

Drop Scripts at Run-through na sila lahat and they pretty much know what they're doing sa stage. I'm the one na parang headless chicken following someone they call a Stage Manager, her name is Abbie pala, teaching me where to stand, what to do, tapos siya yung nag-scribble ng directions at madalas drawing sa script ko.

For the most part, Nerissa and I don't have scenes at all.

*And I try my best to avoid her with the help of the Stage Manager. Thank you, Gay Bathalas!*

If alam niyo yung story ng Twelfth Night, it's about these fraternal twins na got separated by a storm at sea that led to a shipwreck: Sebastian and Viola. Napadpad sila on this island called Illyria na magkahiwalay and akala nila patay na yung kakambal nila. Si Viola disguises herself as a man tapos pinili niya na name is Cesario. And then Viola as Cesario works for the Duke named Orsino para tulungan si Orsino na ligawan si Countess Olivia.

*Ang gulo, ano?*

My role, Sebastian, got saved from the shipwreck with the help of Antonio. Tapos may gulo rin because even if for the most part of the play hindi kami nagkikita ni Viola slash Cesario until the end, nagkaroon ng mistaken identities and Sebastian secretly marries Countess Olivia na akala ni Olivia si Sebastian si Cesario slash Viola.