Notes From The Underground

CHAPTER FIVE

I have a boner in my heart. A heart on. An affection erection. That's stupid. But it's true. Call 911 I've fallen and I can't get up. Aren't I funny. I'm a mess. I wanna die. I wanna masturbate. I might. I won't. Too lazy. Too messy.

You don't know pain until you try and get cum stains out of your clothes.

I stood up, going into the bathroom like I did every morning, only to run into Ben, brushing his teeth and singing loudly to music. It's rare I see Ben.

Ben is my little brother. If I haven't made that clear enough. He's short, 5'1 and 12 years old. He has brown hair like me, brown eyes like dad. His nose is mom's, and his skin is kinda dark, polar opposite to my white skin. He's really sweet, his personality is nothing but love. He's super loud, can't keep it down for the life of him. But he's never negative, he's nothing but positive. I walked into the bathroom, holding a hand over my heart and singing with him with a loud giggle before he looked at me, a big grin across his face.

"Stop being a dick, Gabe." He laughed and spit out his toothpaste.

"You're 12 don't swear at me!!" I laughed gently and moved towards him, grabbing my toothbrush and deciding to do the same as him.

"Momma says I can swear!" He defended, his words a bit muffled as he scrubbed his teeth.

"Mom is wrong, when I was 12 I got my ass beat for cussing." I reprimanded, leaning my arm on his head as I brushed my own teeth.

"M'not a headrest!" He giggled and tried to push me off with no success, giggling in the adorable way he did. I loved him to pieces. It sucks I never see him anymore. I miss him with everything I have.

"You're a damn good headrest too me!" I giggled in response.

"God you're mean to me." He smiled, putting up his toothbrush and sitting up on the counter to chat with me.

"I'm super nice to you." I disagreed lovingly, my tone affectionate.

I don't talk to Ben anymore. I stopped when I moved out. Maybe I should go back and change that. I would love too, but it's been so long I don't think I can. He's a teenager now, and I'm just the astray brother who doesn't talk to him anymore and that's sad. He doesn't need me to show back up.

"You're terrible. When I'm older are you still gonna treat me like this?" He giggled.

"Oh hell yeah. I'm gonna show your girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever like tons of your baby photos, gonna talk about how you didn't know what a penis was until you were 8, gonna noogie your head and pants you. Oh hell yeah, swear I'm gonna around when you're 15." I never lived up to that promise. But as I grinned, smiling wide, I thought I would get too.

"I hate you." He chuckled, shaking his head and playing with my eyeliner pencils. "Why do you wear makeup?" He asked.

"Men deserve to be pretty too!" I chuckled, taking the pencil from him and starting to sharpen it.

"I was messing with that!"

"Well, don't. I stole it from Ken fair and square." I snickered and set it down, pulling my hair back with a clip and taking off my glasses. "Wanna talk while I get ready?" I asked and he nodded.

I did the usual, starting off with foundation. I blended it out, using powder after to keep it matte and then looking through my makeup. I had a few things I could do but first I did my eyebrows, filling them in and smiling at my own reflection. I moved to eyeliner, darkening my water line and using a red under it, blending heavily to give a bagged eye effect, humming to myself and putting on some chap stick. Simple.

"You look like you rolled out of a dumpster." Ben giggled, poking my cheek and I smirked, shoving him playfully.

"That was the point. At least my dad isn't a goat." I teased.