She's always mad. She's always mad. I'm going mad. I can't think. I've been up for 72 hours straight. She hasn't slept either, all she does is get mad at me. I don't even have to speak for her to hate me, and then she says sorry. But two minutes later is mad again. I wish I didn't have insomnia. Why can't I be one of those people who sleep their problems away?
Why won't she stop yelling? I look at the clock. It's only 7 in the morning. She is shouting, yelling God know's what at me. I just want to sleep. I'm so tired. I haven't slept in so long, Kendall, please leave me be. My mind is pleading with her but I'm too tired to really speak. I push the pillows over my head, trying to drown her out and failing. I sighed loudly, looking over at her.
"You know you don't have a job." She said, going calm.
"Okay?" I asked. "We live with my mother, we'll be well off until we graduate and then I'll get a good job and we'll be able to move out to somewhere nice." I said. I had thought this out, I wasn't being stupid. I was planning and being careful, even in this shit situation.
"I don't wanna live here with our baby Gabe." She said, her attitude showing. God she was always such a cunt, why couldn't she just shut up. I groan.
"Kendall we both need to finish our education. If we move out, work and go to school we'll always be broke. Think smart." I sighed, thinking I was being rational. And I was, believe me I was. She just was in the mood to fight.
"No. We need to move out and stop letting your mother pay all of our bills, how are we going to feed our baby, Gabe?"
"You're six months along, next month you're to have a baby shower where you will be receiving many gifts and things to help out, if I am not mistaken. You've also made many appointments in regard to government help including food stamps and government assisted living. That means you'll be getting a check for food and regular cash every month until the baby reaches three years of age. By then we will have been graduated and able to move out, and I will have found a part time job to cover our bills and such. So tell me now Kendall, why would you disturb me from my sleep to bother me with this, when I've already thought it over tenfold in my head."
"I..I don't know." She stuttered.
"It really is an insult to be underestimated." I grumble, mostly to myself. "I can tell you exactly why you needed to pester me though. You have a need for attention, so you come and you bother me with whatever first comes into your mind as being bitch worthy. This time it was our finances which is already sorted out since our state sponsors teen parents for whatever fucking reason they may have. But what will it be next time? Mhm?" She ignored me, going to speak, indignant. "That's what I thought."
"Gabe we can't live with your parents, if we are government funded, which we are, we easily have the money to leave sooner!" She tried to argue and I groaned, rubbing my temples and standing up.
"But if we do that we will both be required to work to pay the half of our bills the state will not. But knowing you, I'll be the one solely working while you lay around the house pretending to cook and clean and play perfect mommy. When in reality you'll be neglecting our child and doing what you want while I'm out taking care of things. I know this because you have no maternal instinct whatsoever, despite how keen you are on being a mother. You see this as a tool, as a reason to keep me around and Kendall, my darling if you want to keep me around much longer as your manservant or whatever it is you wish to keep me as, you better play this my way or so help me god you and this fetus will be alone!" I snapped, rambling whatever came to mind first to get my point across, and most importantly, left her speechless.
"Okay. Moving out is a no go." She gulped, nodding her head and offering submission on the situation, tears welling up in her eyes.
"No don't cry fucking hell." I groaned in annoyance, I had upset her. I was also growing even more cold than before, I could tell in that very moment.
"You can't just shout at me Gabe and insult me and try and make me out to be some bad guy in whatever sick little world your head has made up!" She shouted through her tears.
"Still I don't need you crying. Such an awful sobbing noise you make and then you snot everywhere, it's very unbecoming of you." I shrug her off, acting as annoyed as I felt. I no longer cared. It was this day I decided that I was stuck there anyways, but I didn't need to play mister nice guy to her. She should be just as unhappy as she was making me to be.
"Really? What a fucking low blow Gabe making fun of how I cry?" She sneered, trying to put on her best act of intimidation.
"I could mention how you smell awful due to not showering. Or how the underneath of your nails is full of dirt. Or how your hair looks like a rat's nest today. I could also tell you that you're putting on weight from the baby, and it's likely after you give birth you'll spend months working out to fix it and I'll still not be as attracted to you because babies ruin bodies." I shot back, long convoluted sentences spoken with their only intent to hurt her.
"You're an asshole!" She shouted, groaning loudly.
"Another third grade level insult, I am wounded Kendall, really." I sighed. "Are you quite done? I'm in the mood to watch a movie and your presence is hindering that."
"Whatever. Watch your fucking movie. God why am I even with you!" She huffed, moving towards the door, slamming it shut.
"Because you need me!" I called to her, right as the door shut, and left me once again with my favorite sound in the world; Silence.
I had a disease. Cynicism.
EDITED
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Notes From The Underground
Teen FictionI'm here to take responsibility for my actions. I was lost in love, in sex, in a future with no hope. I became lost and afraid, I became empty and alone. I expected her to stay, I was a fool really. I spent days crying over this filth. Do with it wh...
