Notes From The Underground

CHAPTER TWENTYTHREE

On his second birthday, I'm stuck working and Kendall is mad I won't be there for the first half of his birthday party. I tried to argue that our son is only one, it's not like he'll remember this day. She wouldn't let up though, so now I'm running around town trying to get my work done as quickly as possible. I make a delivery to an apartment. The guy doesn't even open the door all the way, only his eyes peering through the crack he made in the door as he hands me the money and takes what I was told to give him. I go to Charlie's Doll's, Mickey was apparently into meth pretty heavily. Before that I was told to go get cough syrup at the pharmacy. It seems all the guys in the den were banned from it after they were found out for both making and distributing meth.

I brought the shit to Brian, assuming him and all his amateur chemist buddies needed the sudafed in it to start back up their selling of the drug. They had it closed off for a while to avoid being caught for worse, much to the distaste of many of our towns meth heads. Mickey was so thankful when they started back up again, she hugged me so tight I was almost unable to breathe. So much strength for such a tiny girl.

Once I had all my work done it was already two in the afternoon, but I hauled ass and rushed home for my baby's birthday party. Kendall's family was all going to be there, my brother and my mom as well. I didn't have much family I didn't hate, in fact if I didn't live with my mother Ben would be the only person I'm related too I'd bother inviting. I get inside, seeing him sat up in his high chair with a small chocolate cupcake.

I stand around him with the rest of his family, smiling and singing happy birthday off key with them. He was just grinning and looking around, curious and smiley about his surroundings. He seemed content I envied his glee at the world. Weird to envy a baby. Kendall helped him blow out the candle, letting him eat the cupcake with his hands as his family cooed and awed over him, fawning over our newly two year old son.

"I can't believe you have a baby." I heard Ben say to me, drinking from a can of soda and smiling. God he had gotten older. He was 14 now. I had recently turned 19 myself. Time was going by so quickly, so steadily. I hardly even noticed my little brother becoming a teenager. 

"Neither can I, kid." I chuckled.

"Where were you all morning?" He asked.

"Work." I replied simply, smiling at him.

"Is that what you're calling it now?" He asked, looking at me funny.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I scoffed at him.

 He shook his head, almost looking disappointed wit me as he wandered away wordlessly. Maybe that's why i never paid attention to him. He's an ass. 

I wonder if he knew. I wanted it secret from him, maybe Kendall blabbed her big mouth. Or momma told him. Or maybe he was just smarter than I gave him credit for and figured it out on his own. Perhaps he overheard me and Kendall arguing about it. Whatever the reason, I hated that he knew. I hated being a shitty older brother, almost as much as I hated being a shitty dad. But it seemed I was good at being shitty, and I provided and loved them so it didn't matter, to me anyways.

The door to me and Ken's room is open, the whole space covered in boxes. We had finally found a place and were planning on moving in tomorrow. I was taking off work for it, doing extra hours all month so I could treat Kendall to lunch and actually get us a decent place and make sure we had money for anything we needed in our new home.

We had found a two bedroom two bath apartment a little bit away from the den, closer than we were here. It was rather large, good kitchen space and living area. It was only 750 a month, so we decided it was perfect and got to packing as soon as we got home from seeing the place. We put our down payment in, and were excited to move out. We were both sick of living with my mother, we were adults with a child. We should be living on our own, and thankfully, we were going to be soon.