Poems (The Patterns of my Mind)

Afraid2Get2 C L O S E

We've know each other for about a year

But you still give me tingles

Irresistibly happy

Every time you walk into a room

I stop and instantly smile

Just wanna talk

I'm sure you kinda think of me as clingy

But you've become my go to friend

Never knew you before we met

So I write this to get it off my chest

As I have learned to always do

Take it or leave it

We were swirling through time and space

Literally in a room of light

Looking up at the past

Liquid words falling from our mouths

Lights sparkling our eyes

Leaving trails

Both of us on the same fluffy, furry bean bag

So   C   L   O   S   E

Frozen still

I wanted to look at you and your style

See your bright pink color

Become absorbed

But I forced myself to look up at the light

Only stare at you through a camera

Nervous

The more we sat, the more we talked

And as always I learned more about you

As you learned about me

As we sat spinning endlessly

A dawning emerged from within me

Despite chaos

The feeling of your presence next to me

Blossomed a hint of a feeling inside me

So small

Suddenly I was hyper aware of how   C   L   O   S   E

People all around us

Our world

As you talked about how calming this room was

And I enthusiastically agreed

Inner war

I noticed my yearning for you to have this room in your life

And my life as well

Together

And I tried to stop my brain from jumping off that cliff

But it did anyway by asking

Questions

Am I falling in love with Rose?

They're pinky scrupulous smell?

They're sweet and quirky outside?

They're spikes underneath the skin?

Am I wrong?

No

I was getting too   C   L   O   S   E

I breathed in my dissatisfaction

Disappointment infected my space

Stop

This time I let my mind swirl

Like the liquid light blending

Bright color

I've been doing this more often

Noticing my possible fears

Afraid

This time I was afraid to get too   C   L   O   S   E

So I satisfied myself with brushing my hand against yours

C   L   O   S   E

but not enough

My internal fear kicks in again

But you never notice

So when you leave to go feed your bitches

You have not idea the emptiness left inside me

I wandered the rest of the time

looking to fill that void

Alone

And when I entered that room again, I stopped

Smiled, then sighed my way through

Pushing, swirling

By that time, the intensity was gone

the feeling vanished

But it was there

C   L   O   S   E   but oh so far

Inspiration: Life, an exhibit, and a person named Rose