I get woken up by the birds outside at 7:45, which isn't too bad, I guess. It's earlier than I would normally get up if I were at home, but whatever. I get dressed in an outfit exactly the same as yesterday's (that's all there is in my dresser) and find a piece of paper with my schedule for today by my door. I have breakfast until 8:45 and then after that I have my first group therapy session.
It takes me a few minutes, but eventually I find my way back to the cafeteria and get my food. I sit down at my table by the window and start eating. The food (french toast) is good, but it's not as good as the french toast I make with Niall. As I let out a sad sigh someone sits down across the table from me. I look up and it's a guy about my age. He looks kind of annoyed.
"You're at my table," he says.
"I'm not, actually. I sat here at lunch yesterday," I say, looking out the window.
"Well I was sick yesterday, so I wasn't at any of the meals, which is the only reason I wasn't there at lunch. And you're obviously new because if you ask anyone here, they'll tell you it's my table," he insists. I roll my eyes and continue to look out the window.
"Well it sucks for you because I'm not moving," I tell him. He huffs in defeat and then starts eating. I keep looking out the window until Julie comes and gets me. As I walk away the guy glares at me. I smirk and follow Julie out of the cafeteria. She takes me to the room my group therapy is in and drops me off, telling me she'll be back when it's over.
I'm only the third one here, so we wait for a few minutes for everyone else to show up. My neutral expression turns into a scowl when the guy from lunch shows up. When he sees me he smirks and sits directly across the circle of chairs from me. He glares at me, so I just look down at my fidgeting hands in my lap. When it's finally time to start, the guy stops glaring at me and looks towards a guy wearing a name tag. It says Kyle. He must be the group counselor guy.
"Welcome to today's group session, everyone," Kyle says. He then goes on this boring spiel about overcoming our personal demons and making it through dark times and all that stuff. When he finishes with that he turns to me and smiles.
"And today we'd like to welcome our new group member, Elissa! Elissa, if you could stand up and tell us a little about yourself it would be great," Kyle says, smiling. I feel my cheeks burning as I hesitantly stand. There's probably 20 other people in here, and I don't want any of them to know anything about me or why I'm here. But oh well, I guess I don't have a choice.
"Well, I'm Elissa Andersen. I'm turning 22 next month. I am- or was- recording my second album as a solo artist, I live here in LA, my roommate is Tyler Oakley, I've met lots of famous people that you all haven't, and I wish I wasn't here." I start to sit back down, but Kyle stops me.
"And why are you at Briar Rose, Elissa?" he asks. I feel the blood drain out of my face and my heart starts racing. I rapidly shake my head and sit down, embarrassed.
"Oh come on, new girl," the guys from lunch says sarcastically. Kyle and I turn to glare at him and he puts his hands up in defense.
"Elissa, here at Briar Rose we have a strict policy about discussing other's dilemma's outside of group sessions. No one will talk about your life unless you initiate the conversation. Everyone here knows why everyone else is here. Knowing what's wrong is a step to helping you get out of here faster," Kyle explains. "So please stand up and tell us." I slowly stand up, my hands shaking, and begin my story.
"I'm here for excessive self-harm issues and severe depression, I guess. I've tried killing myself a couple times, but obviously that didn't work out," I say with a cold laugh. I notice that Lunch Guy's smirk is gone.
"I started cutting almost 8 years ago, when I was in middle school. My life was- and still is- super stressful and it sucked. Recently- and I guess this is what landed me here- I had a big tragedy in my life. This wasn't known information to the public, but as of a week or so ago I was two months pregnant. Eight days ago I had a miscarriage and lost the baby. It devastated me, so I cut a lot more and I went out and almost killed myself from alcohol poisoning a couple nights ago. And that's why I'm stuck here," I finish. Everyone is silent as I sit back down and once again look down at my hands. They're still shaking.
"Well that's quite a story, Elissa," Kyle pauses. "And now we'll go around and have everyone introduce themselves and explain a little about why they're here."
The person sitting on my left goes first, and then it just keeps going around the circle. Most of the people have been here for almost a year, and are here for drug abuse, alcoholism, or- like me- depression/self-harming. When it gets to Lunch Guy, he stands up like everyone else and introduces himself.
"My name is Brandon. I'm 23 and I used to be friends with Josh Hutcherson before he was super famous. I'm in this place for alcoholism and self-harming. I've been here for almost 8 months now, and I have no idea when I get to go home." He sits back down and I suddenly don't hate him anymore. I can't hate someone that's gone through what I have. I doubt his self-harm problems reach the extent of mine, but it's still an unfortunate similarity.
The rest of the people introduce themselves and then Kyle starts a discussion about substance abuse and the dangers of it. I wonder how many times he's given this speech. Probably hundreds of times. He gets some feedback from all the people that are here for substance abuse, and it's actually kind of interesting hearing about all the thoughts these people have about what they had been doing that landed them here. They all regret it, but a few of them say that they miss the way it took the pain away. I totally get how they feel.
After the session is over Julie comes and gets me to take me to my room for 'self-meditation' hour. Apparently all patients get from 11 to noon to sit in their rooms and think. It sounds stupid, but as Julie leaves and I start thinking, it's actually really nice. Sometimes you just need a while to think. I sit in the window seat and look out over the gardens and the beach while I think about how much I miss and need Niall. I really hope Melissa lets me call him today.
Julie knocks on my door right at noon and takes me to the lunch room. She tells me that I have my daily meeting with Melissa at 2:30. When I ask what I'm supposed to do between then and now, she tells me that for today I just have free time. Great. What am I supposed to do during free time?
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I KNOW IT'S SHORT! I'm really sorry it's short and took longer than usual, but I've been super busy the last few days. I took the SAT on Saturday and I had a bunch of stuff I had to do and I just didn't have time to do this. BUT. I will try and do a double update. I will not get up from my computer until the next chapter is done.
Thank you guys so much for reading this! Vote, comment, and spread the word!
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Not So Normal
FanfictionMeeting One Direction is all Elissa has ever dreamed of, and her dreams are about to come true. When Niall falls for her, it's like a dream. But aren't dreams almost meant to be crushed? I was young. I couldn't write. Don't judge lmao
