Not So Normal

Chapter 29

   I have to spend the next five days in the hospital. Twice every day I have to walk around for a few minutes to gain my strength back. I'm extremely weak, so it's really hard the first day, but Niall helps me, so it's a little bit better. He has spent every minute he can by my side since I woke up. If I ever need anything, he makes sure I get it as soon as possible. I feel like he's trying to make up for what he did, but in reality, he's 100% forgiven. I don't want him to feel like he needs to redeem himself.

   I also have to stay in the hospital for so long because I need to gain a little weight back before I can leave. One of the nurses told me I lost almost 45 pounds, so I'm extremely underweight for my age and height. Great. But it means that I get to eat all the crap I want to. The first day or so they don't let me eat too much, but that's just because my body isn't ready for too much normal food after being on a feeding tube for 25 days.

   When I finally get the okay to leave the hospital, I'm relieved. Niall lets me put my arm around his shoulders for support while I walk, and we slowly make our way out to Niall's car. I get settled in the passenger seat and hold Niall's hand while he drives.

   When we get to Niall's house, I'm surprised to find everyone there waiting for us.

   "Welcome home!" Eleanor says happily.

   "Well, it's not really home, but thanks," I say, sitting down on the couch because I'm still too weak to stay standing for too long.

   "We're just glad you're finally out of the hospital," Liam says.

   "You're glad?" I snort. "I'm glad."

   "Elissa, be nice. They're just trying to help you celebrate. We were all worried sick about you," Niall says sternly. That makes me shut up.

   "Sorry Liam," I mumble. There's an awkward silence for a few minutes, but then Niall speaks up.

   "Let's have ice cream!" he says. Everyone mumbles their agreements and goes into the kitchen. We all have ice cream in awkward silence, and then we go back into the living room to talk. I can tell they all have questions for me, but no one is talking.

   "Just ask," I say after I can't stand the stares anymore.

   "Where were you? I mean, physically you were obviously in the hospital, but what about mentally?" Harry asks immediately. That's a really good question. Do I even remember much from my time being mentally gone? I try to remember what happened on the lake, but I can't.

   "All I remember is that I was floating in a lake and I was counting the minutes. That's it," I say, a little embarrassed that I can't remember anything else.

   "You counted the minutes? Like the whole time you were out?" Louis asks, astounded. I nod, wondering if he's impressed or thinks I'm crazy. There's a minute of silence before there's another question. This time it's from Eleanor.

   "What did it feel like when you woke up?"

   "Well, I was really confused as to why I wasn't at Niall's parents' place. I also just felt really weak and tired and didn't feel like me. I still don't. I mean, look at me," I say, gesturing to my crazy skinny frame. I lift up my shirt so my stomach is exposed.

   "Oh Elissa," Elizabeth whispers. The others are silent. My stomach is still sunken in, and you can count each and every one of my ribs. My arms are skinny now too. No more extra arm fat. Same with my legs. I noticed on my way out of the hospital that I have the infamous thigh gap. And I don't like it. Not one bit. My face is also sunken in a bit, and I'm kind of pale from not going outside for almost a month straight. And the saddest part is that my treasure chest got a little smaller. (If you know what I mean)