B'shert

And making mistakes

Right, so I KNOW that you know by now that my characterization is a few miles off...I'M SORRY I TRIED!!

Chapter Five

Now, while they honestly DO like each other (a lot) and while Damian is trying his best to learn to control his share of the link it's not that easy because Raven herself has never had this kind of link before so she's learning as she goes too. It's not much of a problem at first as the bond between them was still fragile and new. But a month or two passes and they become closer and now they have privacy issues. Because Raven suddenly knows the password for the bat computer and Damain starts muttering in languages that are dead on worlds AWAY from Earth and the tid bits of non shared private memories and emotions that unintentionally bleed through put both of them on edge. Because bond mates or not they're still them, still guarded. They still want to be their own people so they still need SPACE. Because while these moments of jumbled memories can be funny and harmful sometimes, and insightful into understanding the other sometimes they're just things that they weren't ready to disclose. Like how Raven finds out that Damien has killed.

The memory comes to her when she's taking a shower, the warm water cascading down her back and through her hair. And then suddenly she sees a courtyard. On one side lined up like a stone army are men and women clad in black and on a sort of dais are two people, their hands and feet bound and sitting up on their knees. On the balcony stand Ras'Al ghul and his daughter and her-his visions shifts and HER heart stops because she's looking into the face of Slade Wilson. The monster nods, and he moves forward. He looks into the eyes of the two people who have been tied up, their glaring at him, gazes full of hate but he can see the hands of fear clawing at their hearts. It shows through their eyes. He raises his arm and there's a knife and with one swift movement he slits both their throats. He's five.

She gasps as the vision slips away, and she realizes that she's on her hands and knees and that the waters gone cold. Damian had killed, but she couldn't exactly judge him for that.... Damian had known Slade....

She asks him about it, the next time she sees him. She keeps her tone as neutral as she can because she knows she shouldn't be judgmental, or angry or sympathetic or shocked or anything because anyone of those could set Damien off. (Including neutralism apparently) because the next thing she knows they're having a full on screaming match in their heads (because they're in the kitchen and Gar eating pie) (and they're screaming because their link is out of control and their voices are louder and it's just harder to keep their emotions under control while using it) 'I wasn't PRYING ok?! It bled through and I just wanted to ask and I'm your GIRLFRIEND so sorry if I was worried about you!' she mentally spat.

'I don't NEED you to be worried. I NEED you to understand what to leave alone!'

'Just because I'm in your head doesn't mean I get what you do and don't want to talk about Damian. You bottle your emotions up even when you want to face them because it's all you've been taught to do and as a result you have the emotional range of a teaspoon and that's fine except I can't figure out which is safe and what's a landmine unless you tell me! And you don't even HAVE to tell me! Just maybe not blow up at me for worrying about you!'

'You don't need to KNOW how I feel about it you should use common sense- but then again you yourself have said you may not possess any-' and bringing up her past mistakes was a low jab, a really, really low jab but he's ANGRY. Because that memory. The first time he'd taken a life... It had been part of his training, Slade's idea seeing as if he was to lead the league of Assassins he should learn how to kill. He still remembers almost being able to feel the lives of his victims slipping away.

He'd felt so torn after that, because on one hand it was so horrific but grandfather and mother and basically the whole league KILLED. The conflict that his actions had brought into his mind had resulted in much punishment and...he didn't want anyone to see the monster that he was becoming then. And Raven-

'It doesn't exactly count when I know you don't want to deal with it alone- oh and by the way maybe you should get around to dealing with everything you shut in that closet of yours before it explodes' and he doesn't get the closet reference but their connection gives him the gist of it. 'Tt. Says YOU. And also, I happen to understand what of what I see in your mind to leave be. Like that demon girl from your fathers realm-' her whole body stills. 'So why can't you Raven?!' And that's...

"You're an asshole you know that?" She snaps out loud, her voice laced with so much anger it makes an already on edge Garfield jump in his seat. Because that's private. Because Raven spent a good deal of her childhood trapped in hell, seeing horrors that no one should see and having to bear so much hurt. Having her heart and emotions played with. Because Juno, another daughter of Trigon, her half sister, another conduit for Trigon to use to take over another innocent world had asked her to KILL her because she didn't want to be used. And Raven had done it, she'd killed her sister. And lived in shame not because of the act but because she couldn't find the courage or the nobility in herself to do the same and save Earth. It's one of her deepest darkest memories and- yeah she see's now that maybe she should have recognized how asking Damian about what she saw was a bad idea but she' so ANGRY right now (she's not sure at who)- " So many have told me," Damian grits out, green eyes narrowed. And Garfield glances between the two of them and he's majorly confused.

Because they'd come into the kitchen and he'd been eating some of the left over pie that their new teammate Conner had made yesterday and it had been peaceful and quiet. They'd been drinking that green tea that they both liked but then Damian had slammed the cup down on the counter, Raven following suite (albeit more gently) and then there's been this full on staring/ glaring/ scowling match. And Gar had tried to ignore them, really because well...they did that sometimes. But the atmosphere was getting more and more tense with each passing second and then finally Raven explodes. And now they're arguing and going silent and speaking again and he's majorly confused. (And kinda scared too because Ravens half demon and she's kind of glowing right now and Damian has some serious anger management issues) Raven storms out of the kitchen and Damian snaps at him "What the hell are you looking at Logan?!!" before following suite and he hears the sound of things breaking coming from Damian's room not long after.