B'shert

Life is maybe about learning to lose

Chapter Twenty One

(A/N:so like I read this super angsty  klance fix about them In their past lives and I KNEW they were  gonna  die in the end cuz hello major character  death tag????  But I read it any WA at because I am a bloody idiot. 

Also four... No THREE more days to my term test and here I am!!! Ducking fantastic no?) 

.

.

.

It's the first thing she senses when he wakes up. 

Her mind reaches out to his instinctively and she finds...no one reaching back. She just gets Damian scowling at her once he realizes what happening . "I don't appreciate you being in my head," he snaps. And she recoils and apologizes and then flees the infirmary with the excuse of getting Kori.

 As she walks through the hallways of the tower, she thinks that of all the things her father has done to her, this is by far the worst. 

Because she was in Damians head, she knows that concrete memories of her, of them have disappeared. She doesn't know where they are. But she assumes that they'd shattered along with their link. And it hurts; it hurts like hell because it's so unfair that they end up like this. (But maybe it's for the best. He nearly died because of her stupidity and ignorance, he deserves better.)

 She finds Kori in the training room. 

She's explained to Kori, how exactly Trigon had managed to possess Damian but they hadn't talked much after that because Raven had been tiered and had wanted to be with Damian. But now it was time.

"So he's lost all memory of you?" she asks, she tries to keep her voice neutral for Ravens sake. She tries to keep it simple and not dump her own emotions on the empath because she already has more than enough to deal with. "No...not all. He probably remembers what happened when he first joined the team. He's just forgotten about whom I am, what I'm like. Everything to do with US. I'm there...like a shadow in his memories but he...he doesn't KNOW me. Not anymore," and her voice cracks at that last bit, because finding your soul mate is so rare. But even then, circumstance plays a huge role on whether or not you get the opportunity to understand your soul mate. And Raven had had that, she'd had someone who knew her and loved her the way she was. But now she'd lost it.

"Can't you see if you can...I dunno bring them back? He couldn't have just lost all his memories because of the breaking of the bond, you still have yours." And yes, maybe. But Ravens too scared to try, she's too scared of what she might fine. 

Of having hope only to have it destroyed. 

And also, to do that, to go into the deepest depths of someone's mind without running the risk of hurting them she'd need said persons trust, their permission. And considering Damians attitude towards her and her psychic abilities she doubted she'd get that opportunity. She tells Kori this (the second reason not the first.) And the Tamaranian princess tells her that if that's the case she'll just have to re earn Damians trust.

Later, Damians still in the infirmary while Kori runs some tests on him, and Ravens using this time to wipe any trace of herself from Damians room. Because she guesses that overwhelming him with their relationship might not be the best move. And finding her cloths in his closet, her notebook in his drawer would definitely be overwhelming. And she shoves everything she knows is there and hers into a box, trying her resolute best to ignore the angry tears streaming down her cheeks. Trying to keep the sobs at bay. She's kept her face neutral and blank for all this time, but now she can't anymore. 

Not here, not in a place where they'd spent so much of their time together. Even though she hates breaking down she thinks that in this situation, it's more than fair. So what better place to do it that here?

She doesn't expect Nightwing to open the door.

She goes rigid and they stare at each other for a few seconds. Raven just stares and he's surprised because Raven is crying; Raven almost never cries. "What are you doing here?" he finally asks, because this isn't her room and Damian isn't here. Her face turns to ice and Dick feels kind of scared even with the tears still staining her cheeks. She opens a portal and doesn't say anything as she steps through it, carrying a box with her as she leaves. He doesn't see her again till Kori calls for all of them to assemble in the common area. 

"How's Damian?" Conner asks once they've all gathered. 

"He's fine but exhausted; he's asleep in the infirmary." Kori answers. She ignores her husband's inquiring gaze, Nightwing knows that there's something going on but has no clue what it is and Kori seems set in her resolve to reveal it to him at the same time she does to everyone else. There's a silence in which the casual atmosphere dissipates and the tension starts to build.

"So," Gar says, clearing his throat. "Why are we here?" Kori glances at Raven and then shifts her stance, focusing her attention on the sorceress, a signal for everyone else to do the same. Raven sighs and bends her head for a moment, making her hood cover more of her face.

"I guess it's obvious that Damian was possessed by Trigon," she spits her father's name like it's the bane of her existence (And everyone supposes that he is.)Everyone nods. "Yeah how DID that happen?" Bart asks, shifting so that he's sitting straight and no longer leaning against Jaime's shoulder. Raven finally looks up at them. Her hood casts shadows over her face and the only thing that's really visible are her eyes, which give nothing away. "He used a link that Damian and I share to enter his mind when he couldn't take over mine." She says, and her voice is more toneless than it's been since she first came to the tower.

 Sure Ravens voice was dry and bordered toneless, but it was never completely toneless.

"But why now? Why Damian? You've been establishing mental links with most of us during missions; why not take over a more powerful host?" Dick asks, his voice is all business because while he still has questions for Raven about why she was in Damians room protecting the world from an evil world conquering demon took priority. Raven glances away before answering.

"It's not that kind of bond. It's different."

"What kind of different?" Conner asks.

 And this is not how either of them ever imagined officially announcing their relationship would be like. She'd never imagine that she'd be revealing it when it no longer had the grounds to exist.

 "It was personal," She says quietly.

 It's all she can say, because she doesn't know how else to say to them what their bond was. WAS. She wants to stop there; she doesn't want to continue because it all just seems more real with every word she gets out. But she knows she can't run, if she does she'll be running forever. So she draws strength from Kori, who is now standing by her side, a forever supportive presence. "But the point is; I had to break it to free him from Trigons hold, and severing the bond had unexpected consequences. Damian doesn't remember me."