Nerd In Disguise

Ch. 28: lost & broken

Twenty-Eight

Louisa's Point Of View:

I rush back to the house with Cameron behind me.

I was by the beach, watching the sunset and talking about anything and everything when I received a text from Jack telling me to come home.

More specifically he said, come home, we found your mother & Elaina needs you. I'm so sorry. I didn't understand why at first, until he send another text saying he'll help with the funeral.

I can't fathom why our life turns out to be so messy.

I walk in the living room to see everyone and by everyone, I mean Jon, Jack and some other people around the living room with Elaina nowhere in sight.

"Where is she?"

Jack take a deep breath, sighing, "She's at the graveyard I hope." He said, "She didn't want to come home at first. I left her in her room, only to come back to an empty room. I know she's probably there. Venting her anger out to her dad."

I turn and almost run in to Cameron, "Sorry. You stay here, help them or something. I'll be fine."

Cameron look at me worriedly, "You sure? I can come with you. I keep my distant."

I shake my head, "It's fine. I'll bring her home."

I grab my car keys and rush outside to my car. I honestly didn't know how were gonna survive out here, without Mom. Damien. Dad.

Losing them, is just the same as we losing ourselves.

I had Cameron by my side, I know he will help me heal. But I don't know who will be there for Elaina when I won't be there physically to help her.

I reach the graveyard and rush down to where I hope my Sister will be at. And I sigh in relief when I spot her figure sitting in front of Dad's and Damien's headstone. I walk towards her slowly before taking a seat beside her on the ground. I caught a glimpse of a crumple paper in her hand. Her hands in a tight fist.

"Mom's gone."

I nod, "I heard." I replied. "It's not your fault." I turn to her and rest my hand on her arms.

She smile and shake her head, "How is it not mine?" She asked me. "I started it. I couldn't be there in time. I'm always late."

"It's never your fault, Elaina. Please trust me on this." It pains me to see her like this. She's always have been the strong level headed one and seeing her so lost and broken, it hurts me.

She nod her head and intertwine her hands with mine, "Its just us now. I got you. You're all I got."

•••

I watched Cameron talking on the phone with the funeral services while Jack calling the cemetery places. I've never personally handle any of it, so I had no clue.

Elaina fall asleep on our way back home, and I didn't want to wake her up so I ask Jack to carry her up to her room. We've lost our family, so fast and yes I feel just as devastated about it as she is but no one can cope with the burden she carried over the years, the guilt that's been eating her alive thinking she's the reason why they're all gone.

"Elaina thinks it's her fault." I mumble once the two boys take a seat across from me. "She think she's the reason why they're all gone now."

Cameron frown, "But it's not. She had nothing to do with this."

Jack pressed his lips in thin line, "She's grieving. No one thinks straight when they're full of sorrow." He said trying to reassure me. "Besides, Kyle left her in time that she needed him. It only makes things worse."

I was about to retort something when I heard crashing upstairs and Elaina screaming. I quickly got up and dash upstairs to her room, worried that she might hurt herself.

Jack is ahead of me and he barge into the room. And I must say, it's a complete messed. Her bedsheets, her pillows, her books, it's all over the place. The mirror that's attached to the her wardrobe broken into pieces and Elaina seated not far from the broken piece. She's curl up and her body shook as she cry silently.

"I watch them." She said hoarsely and then slowly got up to face us, only then did I notice a piece of broken mirror on her hand. She's holding on tightly and blood dripping from the cut she's inflicted on herself.

"I had to watch them die!" She shouted, "My father, Damien, Uncle rick, I watch them all die in front of me. They got shot, they got stabbed and I was there to witnessed it! I cried out to them to keep their eye open and keep the heart beating but they all die! They fucking die and I was there! I could have fucking stop or trade places with them! It was all my fault!"

I put my hands up to cover my mouth as tears form in my eyes. It hurts me to see her like this. I've never watch her this out of control she's never been like this before.

Jack take one slow step towards her, "I know Elaina. I know you're hurting. But listen-"

Elaina hold her hand up and laugh, "Hurting? Me? Hurt? What give you that idea I'm hurting. Try broken. Try empty. Maybe that fit what I'm feeling right now."

"Elaina, babe, you're not thinking clearly. Let us help you." Jack said calmly as he slowly walk towards her. "We just need you to put that broken piece of mirror away. It's hurting you."

Elaina responded by moving further away from him and wave her arms around, "Why would I do that?" 

"Elaina, please." My voice couldn't be above a whisper. But I know she heard me. I know she heard the pain in my voice.

Her eyes locked with mine, and I can see the pain behind them. The fear. The guilt that's been eating her alive. The burden she carried for so many years now. But most of all, I can feel like I'm losing her. I don't see her full confident cocky twin in her eyes.

"You're all I got, Elaina. Let me help you."

***

So I decided to be generous and upload one chapter cause my laptop taking too long to get here.

So here's the update in Louisa point of view and I hope its good. I'm actually considering to get this story done in few more chapters and do a sequel on this one. What do you think?

Leave your thoughts, and as usual I'll talk to you in the next chapter asap.

Love you lots,
Shah ❤️