Insecurities

Worry, Panic

The couple were walking towards a restaurant near the centre of Central city, rated one of the best in the area, which Barry had booked a table for the two of them, announcing it as a surprise not half an hour ago. Caitlin had dressed in a beautiful blue dress, mainly backless with light silver lining going down the middle of the sides, complete with a pair of high-heels. On Barry's hand, he had dressed in a black suit and a red and blue tie. Barry looked to his left as they were walking, taking a moment to admire Caitlin's beauty as she walked aside him, hand in hand, fingers interlocked with his. She looked up at him and they smiled, continuing to walk down the fairly quiet street, the sun setting in the sky allowing for a beautiful effect of an orange colour.

As they reached the restaurant, they were greeted by a staff worker.

"Hi, what can I do for you?"

"Um, we have a reservation for 9 o'clock, under the name Allen,"

"Ah yes, follow me please," she said, leading the duo over to a booth in the corner, fairly hidden from the rest of the restaurant, giving them some privacy. They sat down and ordered drinks, the waitress walking off to get the order.

"This is really nice, thank you so much for this Barry," Caitlin said with a smile.

"No problem, you deserve it," he replied, smiling back, taking hold of one of her hands, resting their interlocked fingers on the table next to the soft lighting of the candle on their table.

Caitlin was vastly enjoying holding Barry's hand, something simple, yet still made her happy. A smile was clearly visible on her face, possibly even a slight blush. For a moment she let her mind take control of herself, allowing thoughts to enter her with free will. This wasn't always a particularly good sign for her, as she tended to doubt herself quite significantly when she was left to her own thoughts. 

However, Barry seemed to have noticed the change in expression on Caitlin's face, asking her if she was okay.

"Yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be?" she replied, sending him a reassuring smile. 

However, deep down she wasn't particularly sure if that was, in fact, the case. She was thinking of Barry, about how much she cared for him and how much she needed him, how much he had done for her. It was things like this that lead to her own self-doubt. What if she somehow messed this all up? This seemingly perfect life that she had with him, this seemingly perfect relationship. In the past, very little people had cared for her, the very few times that they did she had always messed it up in one way or another. It was the main reason that she had such a low self-esteem. Every time something good happened to her, she would do something to mess it up, to ruin it for herself. In her own thought, it was only inevitable that it would happen again. However this time she would do anything to prevent it. She had genuinely never cared about someone more than Barry, never felt so happy in her life, and this fear that she had certainly wasn't helping. She was simply terrified of being alone again, terrified of losing the person that she, well, loved. 

This was when she realised that that was the first time she had ever actually thought that. She loved him. The couple had yet to say it to one another, logically it was quite a meaningful phrase to the both of them. However, Caitlin realised that she really did love him. That was something that she could say without any hint of doubt. She wanted to tell him, she really did, however, was afraid he may not say it back, afraid that that may be how she messes everything up. 

"Cait..."

"Cait? Are you okay?"

"Huh, oh, sorry, yes I am, I just zoned out, sorry."

"Are you sure you are okay? You know I care about you, and I have noticed that you seem somewhat tense and nervous, you do know that you can talk to me whenever don't you?"

"Yeah, I do, thank you," she replied with a smile.

"There is actually something I would like to talk to you about, but let's leave it until after dinner," she continued.

"Okay," Barry replied with a similar smile.

--------------------------------------

After the couple's food had been finished, they paid the bill and headed out of the restaurant together, heading towards a quiet area of the city.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"It's hard to phrase properly, without sounding like I'm saying something completely different."

"It's okay, just try your best," Barry replied, placing his hand on top of hers for comfort.

"Okay, well, basically, I've just been worrying a lot recently, especially in that restaurant. I have just loved our time together, you have no idea how much you mean to me and I am just terrified that somehow I am going to mess this up, make you walk away, make you see what everyone else sees in me, and I don't think I could live with the fact that I ruined this, I care about you so much and I don't know if I could live without you," she said, clearly sounding scared.

"Cait, listen to me. First of all, I have actually been thinking similar things, but I can assure you that I will never leave you, no matter what, I promise you that."

"Thank you," she smiled in reply, blushing quite a lot. 

"There is another thing, Barry."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Barry tried to hide his smile and blush, before turning back around and taking hold of her hands.

"I love you too."

The pair broke out into a passionate kiss, lasting a few minutes or so. This time, however, it felt significantly more special than before, which was certainly saying something. 

Both of them felt a lot more confident that they had finally found a relationship that worked, found a person that they truly cared for.

That they loved.