Thats gay dude.. (Completed)

☆ 31 ☆

Go get professional help.

What a mean thing to say.

I dont know what i expected.

Staring at my ceiling is boring. But what else is there to do? My muscles feel tired. I feel tired. My eyes burn.

I have that craving. I get it alot. Once i have it, i cant control it, but its changed. I feel dumb and disappointed. I dont know if my arm will ever be the same. Cant use that arm, i can barely move my hand. Its mostly numb.

I used to take that craving out on ither people, now its myself. My lonely world some how got lonelier.

Its 7 am. Might as well go to school.

I stand up, and pick up a pair of pants of the ground. I slip them on and glance in the mirror.

Theyre big on me.

I should eat something before school.

I sigh and slip on my coat, then my shoes. I grab my phone and head to the kitchen. I walk to my fridge and open it.

Do i even deserve food? There are better people out there, they deserve to eat. They deserve to live. Im just a waste of space, a waste of oxygen.

I close the fridge and go to the pantry, i grab a pack of old fruit snacks and head out of the house.

I watch my shoes as they walk. I almost bled out last night, but i stopped it. Why did i stop it? I could be dead right now. Wouldnt that be better?

I guess

I think i got destracted on the way to school, because im not there. Ive ended up at that park.

Gross.

I walk further in and glance at that dumb bench, with the big tree, and small pond. I walk past it and look towards the field. I stop walking.

Why did i come here.

I start walking towards it, my feet dragging. I walk to the top of a small hill and look at the flower covered ground.

Dumb flowers.

I kick the grass and stomp my foot. I feel a drop on my cheek run down, and drip onto the ground under me.

Dumb me, im the dumb one.

I sit down, and rest my hand on my cheek. I look down at the small flowers that held a cherrished memory. A memory that has been shattered and scrapped through the mud.

He used to love me.

I pick one of the small blie flowers out of the ground, and twirl the stem with my index finger and thumb.

I still love him.

He wouldnt miss me. He doesnt miss me. None of them miss me.

But i miss them.

I miss him.

Holy fuck ,, this some sad shit