Go get professional help.
What a mean thing to say.
I dont know what i expected.
Staring at my ceiling is boring. But what else is there to do? My muscles feel tired. I feel tired. My eyes burn.
I have that craving. I get it alot. Once i have it, i cant control it, but its changed. I feel dumb and disappointed. I dont know if my arm will ever be the same. Cant use that arm, i can barely move my hand. Its mostly numb.
I used to take that craving out on ither people, now its myself. My lonely world some how got lonelier.
Its 7 am. Might as well go to school.
I stand up, and pick up a pair of pants of the ground. I slip them on and glance in the mirror.
Theyre big on me.
I should eat something before school.
I sigh and slip on my coat, then my shoes. I grab my phone and head to the kitchen. I walk to my fridge and open it.
Do i even deserve food? There are better people out there, they deserve to eat. They deserve to live. Im just a waste of space, a waste of oxygen.
I close the fridge and go to the pantry, i grab a pack of old fruit snacks and head out of the house.
I watch my shoes as they walk. I almost bled out last night, but i stopped it. Why did i stop it? I could be dead right now. Wouldnt that be better?
I guess
I think i got destracted on the way to school, because im not there. Ive ended up at that park.
Gross.
I walk further in and glance at that dumb bench, with the big tree, and small pond. I walk past it and look towards the field. I stop walking.
Why did i come here.
I start walking towards it, my feet dragging. I walk to the top of a small hill and look at the flower covered ground.
Dumb flowers.
I kick the grass and stomp my foot. I feel a drop on my cheek run down, and drip onto the ground under me.
Dumb me, im the dumb one.
I sit down, and rest my hand on my cheek. I look down at the small flowers that held a cherrished memory. A memory that has been shattered and scrapped through the mud.
He used to love me.
I pick one of the small blie flowers out of the ground, and twirl the stem with my index finger and thumb.
I still love him.
He wouldnt miss me. He doesnt miss me. None of them miss me.
But i miss them.
I miss him.
Holy fuck ,, this some sad shit
YOU ARE READING
Thats gay dude.. (Completed)
FanfictionCW suicide, selfharm, drug abuse, sa would also like to preface that this story, if i remember right is fucked but also its not reality, id like anyone who stumbles upon this to politely fuck off if they do not like something mentioned ok, this is a...