The Life of Me pt.1

May 29th 2017 3:27 am

Well I just woke up from a nightmare. My palms are still sweaty. I don't remember the nightmare well, but I think it had something to do with none of the chargers working for my tablet, then someone made me very angry and I went on a rampage. I don't remember what kind of rampage, but all I know is that I got scared, so I woke up.
I was going to finish what I was saying after the movie but my charger didn't charge my tablet. Instead it uncharged it. If that makes any sense to you.
By the way. If you know whoever sent me the Fluttershy, tell them I said thank you.
So before the movie I was basically saying who I liked but my consciousness wasn't letting me due to fear that they may not like me back, and that maybe she may not read this book, but someone does read this and they help spread the rumors at school about me having a hit list, and I'm scared that they may read her name and that I like her, so they will proceed to tell her that she's one of the first names of my hit list. And I don't know if she believes these rumors. And I don't have a hit list!
Sorry, nasty burp. Bleh, what did I eat? It's like when you taste something terrible and it won't go away even when you wash the taste out with water. Ughe. Where did it even come from?
I'm sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, hit list. I hate that people only think for themselves most times and don't think about others well-being. I hate those people. They never think that these rumors are actually reaching me here. Which they are. And all I won't to do to those people spreading rumors of a hit list, that isn't real, all I want to do to them is go up to them and sock them in the gut with my right hand. Because I'm right handed. But yeah, that all I want to do to any one spreading stupid rumors about something stupid.
I'm also angry because my charger uncharged my tablet.
...
Okay, I'm going to say this now. I don't feel like writing my other book, and I'm afraid that if I sleep I'll have another nightmare, which are starting to never happen. So I just want to write in this for the next... 6 hours. Plus since Wattpad's main color is white it'll keep me up.
Look at me. Most kids in my position would be scared of the never ending darkness that waits just inches from themselves. While I'm afraid to do something we need to do to live.
So basically I'm using Wattpad as a stuffed toy to keep me company.
How childish.
No, ah. Headache. Sorry. And you shut up! Last time you spoke you were saying how death was the answer to all life's questions! So shut up! Ah, headache. Sorry. Let me just take a minute.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ten minutes later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, I'm doing great. So what could I talk about, to myself for a few hours before anyone can read this. Maybe the songs that I'm listening to.
Oh, yeah. I just now remembered. I may, or may not it's not certain yet, be going to an Imagine Dragons concert in Chicago this October! Like I said, we don't know if we're actually going to go, but it's entirely possible. The only reason being for this possibility to come up is Spotify.
So on the 18th of May, I got an email. It was from Spotify and it was Imagine Dragons. So Kevin is instantly in shock because he just got an email from Imagine Dragons saying, "Thank you for being a fan." And they're my favorite band. So in this email the send me a promo code for a discount on tickets for there new tour. Hold on I can actually get the list of shows for you. Be back in a sec!
Some time in the future
Here we go, the entire tour list. Oh dear. Now this is something I have to fix.
09/26/2017Phoenix, AZ
09/28/2017San Diego, CA
09/29/2017Las Vegas, NV
10/01/2017Los Angeles, CA
10/03/2017Mountain View, CA
10/04/2017Sacramento, CA
10/06/2017Seatte, WA
10/08/2017Vancouver, BC
10/10/2017Edmonton, AB
10/11/2017Calgary, AB
10/13/2017Salt Lake City, UT
10/14/2017Denver, CO
10/16/2017St. Paul, MN
10/18/2017Chicago, IL
10/19/2017Detroit, MI
10/21/2017Cincinnati, OH
10/23/2017Brooklyn, NY
10/24/2017Newark, NJ
10/26/2017Quebec City, QC
10/27/2017Montreal, QC
10/29/2017Boston, MA
11/01/2017Buffalo, NY
11/02/2017Philadelphia, PA
11/04/2017Uncasville, CT
11/05/2017Washington, D.C
11/07/2017Atlanta, GA
11/08/2017Charlotte, NC
11/10/2017Orlando, FL
11/12/2017Houston, TX
11/13/2017Dallas, TX
11/16/2017Anaheim, CA
This is there tour. The closest one is in Chicago Illinois in October on the 18th.
And in this message they sent a promo code, THUNDER, the name of one of their songs. But i couldn't use it at the time. Mainly because then I saw that it said 4pm local not 10pm local. So mistake on my part. Worst part about it. I got the message on the 18th. Promo code ended on the 18th at 10pm local time.
Funny right? No? Yeah well it made me happy. I don't know if. Damnit. I could have left the ticket links so you people could get them too. Hold on.
09/26/2017Phoenix, AZTickets
09/28/2017San Diego, CATickets
09/29/2017Las Vegas, NVTickets
10/01/2017Los Angeles, CATickets
10/03/2017Mountain View, CATickets
10/04/2017Sacramento, CATickets
10/06/2017Seatte, WATickets
10/08/2017Vancouver, BCTickets
10/10/2017Edmonton, ABTickets
10/11/2017Calgary, ABTickets
10/13/2017Salt Lake City, UTTickets
10/14/2017Denver, COTickets
10/16/2017St. Paul, MNTickets
10/18/2017Chicago, ILTickets
10/19/2017Detroit, MITickets
10/21/2017Cincinnati, OHTickets
10/23/2017Brooklyn, NYTickets
10/24/2017Newark, NJTickets
10/26/2017Quebec City, QCTickets
10/27/2017Montreal, QCTickets
10/29/2017Boston, MATickets
11/01/2017Buffalo, NYTickets
11/02/2017Philadelphia, PATickets
11/04/2017Uncasville, CTTickets
11/05/2017Washington, D.CTickets
11/07/2017Atlanta, GATickets
11/08/2017Charlotte, NCTickets
11/10/2017Orlando, FLTickets
11/12/2017Houston, TXTickets
11/13/2017Dallas, TXTickets
11/16/2017Anaheim, CATickets
There we are. So now you might be able to visit the site where you can get tickets, and if you can then well I feel bad for you.
Now it's 4:25. Five more hours to go! Yay! Not yay!
Okay, so now I'm reminding myself of a movie, which had a character drunk at one point and he was thanking the main character for buying him a beer and how they were 'the best of friends'. While no one ever really gives me feedback except you Frailcrow. I see you.
Anyway yeah. I ask a question and he's the only one that answers. Wow.
Ow, headache. Be back.
Some time later
Okay I'm back. But yeah what is that? I ask a question and it's like none of you even care. Stop typing that comment Frailcrow. Yeah I see what you doing (No I can't). You could have even made a comment saying you don't have a song that you feel explains you. Even that would have made my day, but no. Only Frailcrow commented. Only one person when I felt like at least three people would comment. I guess you people don't really care for questions. I get it. Now I'm sad. Great! Just wonderful!

*sigh*

I miss seeing the girl I have a crush on. Even though she never said much to me other than "Hi Kevin." Even just two words made me happy on a day I knew was going to be worse like every other day. I so badly want to just write her name down but fear is forcing me not to. Isn't facing fear one of life's challenges? Yeah you people can conquer them. Me, it'll take a while. It's just a name to these people. Just write it down. They all will just look over it. Thank you StarSet. Thank you. Antigravity one of StarSet's song just came on. I just want to write her name down in this book. Ugh! You know what? I feel stupid enough! Fine what will I get in return for putting her name down? Nothing, who cares!? Fine, her name is Jannessa. Sorry if I spelled it badly. Now I feel like my chest just opened. So is this what it feels like getting something off your chest? Because it is certainly something extrodinary! So yeah. I like her. Mainly because she wanted to help way before anyone else did. Plus she's (if Kevin can spell English words he would spell them) beautiful (there we go! That's English spelling!). Well to me at least. Thank you J.T. Machinima for gracing me with your Bendy and the Ink Machine rap. Get recked tablet. Your not falling and publishing this part. Not on my watch. Not going to happen. But yeah, where was I? Oh yeah, me explaining why I like Jannessa. There we go. Now I can write her name when I'm talking about her. Now I feel like I did something bad. Why do songs do this to me. Now Second Chances is on by Imagine Dragons. I'm getting off topic on purpose. Now I feel very embarrassed. It's almost five now. Oh yeah happy Memorial Day. I forgot that that today is Memorial Day. Well I hope you do something fun today. I know we won't. We're​not the usual grill food on holidays family, or the family outing family. Or the anything family. We don't do much on any holiday. All I know is that we'll be doing nothing today. And I'll spend the day writing my book and being in my bed. I can see a little bit of dawn. That's good.
Again off topic! I'm doing this on purpose.
Okay. So I'm going to turn down my music and pass that song.
Okay, so the reason I like Jannessa are simple. She was one of the first to seem to want to help. So I guess that's when I started having feelings for her. Until then she was the same as every other person. No one of any importance. No one that would care or even try to help me feel better. That is until one algebra class when she still sat near me. Ethan was making my day worse by making my headache worse by being an Ethan. So I clapped my hands over my ears so all the sounds of the yelling room would be quiter. Yes I know that's not a word. But her quite voice bled through my hands. Always telling Ethan to try and see if he could help me. And Ethan wouldn't do anything except make my headache worse. So since then I've always wanted to talk to her. Always wanting the chance to be able just to say hi to her. But now I know that will never happen. Mainly because I know that in high school I'll never get the chance to speak to her. I know that I won't have any of the same classes.
So why even bother Kevin? You chasing a lost dream in a pile of nightmares. What's the point?
Because she makes me feel better than my usual self. She haunts my nightmares always being in the background, safe from whatever is happening. And I even made her a main character in my book. When ever I think of her I hear her soft voice in my head and I see her face in my head as well. Wow. My first crush and I'm​ psyching out on it. Jeez Kevin. And since I don't have school for the next few months I won't be able to see her, or to hear her. But up until the other day I knew that so much as just GavinSchaefer, mbaldauf, and oliviakirka12 started to follow me. And I thought that was it. Like that is as much as my account will grow. But then like to days afterwards two more accounts started to follow me. haley0959 and jannessarayne. I didn't think much of it. Okay, I know this update was kinda lengthy but it will only be a little more. I promise. So I didn't think much of it until I saw the last person that followed. And mind you, my tablet doesn't like small pictures so they are blurry. A little blurry. Not so blurry to the point I have no idea what the picture is, but- I'm going off the topic. So when I saw the last account's (that followed me) picture my day got way better. Because from what I can see anyway it looks like Jennessa. So I was at a stand still for a while. One side of me saying, "Follow her back! Maybe she'll start to like you!" while the other side of me is saying, "Don't follow her! Just think what might happen if you do follow her back! We might end the world because of this decision!" But I ended up listening to the first voice, the other one was basically the "curl up in a ball and hide for the next week" voice. Now I feel like my chance have grown slightly higher. But I'm not to sure.