Where to begin? Maybe at some point. But where? I don't know why I'm making this update. All of you people that say your there for me in case I need to talk. I know this, but the problem is that I'm always too scared of talking, even though I want to talk. I'm a coward. I can't start talking. I can't continue a conversation after a few hours. That's not who I am. That was never who a was. I often wish that I could change who I am, but that isn't possible. I've tried. I was in a good mood way earlier, because I was talking with someone, but now my mood dropped significantly. All of you that say your there to talk I want to talk, but like I said, I can't. I'm always afraid to talk. But when I do end up talking it's easy for me to break the barriers I've spent years building. But then when I stop talking I hide behind those barriers.
I fell out of bed way earlier today. My head nearly hit the desk which is maybe three feet away from the bed. And mind you I sleep on the top bunk. I landed on my back on the floor, and I laid there for a while. A long while. And while I fell I was talking to Jannessa again. Which is how I was in a better mood earlier. I was glad my head didn't hit the desk, but there was a big part of me the wasn't glad. That side wanted my head to hit the desk, probably die, probably get a concusion or something. No I don't know how to spell it. And I didn't say that part because I didn't want her to freak out or something. I'm not one for wanting people to freak out or anything like that. So while in was laying on the floor that side of me kept telling me to fall off my bed again and again until I hit the desk to much to kill me, or something worse. But I didn't do it. Instead I pushed that voice down and didn't say anything about it. Worse case scenario I would've listened to that voice and die, without saying anything. That part of me is still telling me to do it. But it's much quieter than it was this morning. I'm sorry I didn't say anything about the voice before. And I'm sorry I wasted your time.
YOU ARE READING
The Life of Me pt.1
Non-FictionThis is my life, and the pain that comes with it. My story, and the loneliness that rides on it. This is the other side of StolenGiant, and there isn't a way back from it. So if you want to hear on how sucky my life is, read it. I honestly don't car...
