The Life of Me pt.1

July 13th 2017 9:49 am

my shoulder pain hasn't stopped. it hurts like hell. it hurts to move my arm. but i have something to say. it involves me and my never asking questions. well i do ask questions but not a lot. at most it will be two a week. normal? well how about at most only four a month. still normal? how about at most 10 every 7 months. not normal? good. i hate being normal. so the thing i want to say does involve the not asking questions. so a long while ago, maybe sometime near the end of 6th grade. there was this kid. i don't know if any of you remember them but they were only there for a couple of weeks. maybe three. i don't know. but i specifically remember him saying how tragic his life was, so tragic he should rule 8th grade or something. you know, moron stuff. so one day near the end of the school year i asked him a question. a question i would soon regret. i asked him, "how was your life tragic?" and right after that he beat me up. it was in the middle of a big crowd but he wasn't just throwing punch after punch. he threw five punches straight at my face. i went home with a very bloody nose. no one cared. next day, same thing happened, this time 6 punches. for that entire week i had the crap beat out of me. but since it was at the end of the year i had my long hair to hide the injury. but the blood didn't soak into my hair quickly so everyday i'd come home with a trail of blood coming from the top of my nose (around where the nose meats the forehead) no one noticed it. so for rive straight days i had the crap beat out of me. i had no one to trust and i knew if i told anyone he and/or some of his friends would come looking for me in school and beat me up to where i would be nothing but a body. so i kept it a secret, until now. now, i never asked many questions to begin with, but this gave me reason to never ask a question. i've never said that story to anyone. it feels so good to get it off my chest. i still wont ask any questions. why? 'cause i'm afraid to. i'm afraid that when i do that the next time you see me you'll beat the crap out of me with a friend, or two, or three, or all of them. and for every question that fear gets worse. and for every question i've asked i never mean to say it. i never mean seem curious about something or anything. to be honest most of the questions i've asked i've never meant. all the questions i've asked Jannessa, all the questions i've asked in here. there are a few questions i don't regret. and there's only really two. one was just the other day, yesterday maybe, Tuesday maybe. i don't know, and the other question was a very long time ago. i don't remember the question, but i know it was way before 6th grade. so please, if you do plan on having the crap beat out of me, please just go easy. i won't fight back. i can't fight back. but if you do, just go easy.

(can't publish due to wattpad maintenance)