Blue

Chapter 2

I thought about calling my mom while Corey slept, but she talks too much, so I know the news would get around to Shawn eventually. I don't like hiding things like this from my husband, but after seeing him break down about the past miscarriages, I just can't do that to him again. So, I decided that it would be best if I just suffered quietly on my own, if anything happens. It would be my own little secret.
Corey woke up only a few minutes after I laid him down. I heard his soft little footsteps as he came down the hall and into the living room where I was sitting. "Hey Corey. How are you, sweetie?" I spoke softly to him.
"Hi BB." He rubbed his eyes. "Where's Mommy?"
I walked over to him to pick him up. "Mommy had to go to work. It's Daddy's turn to have you this weekend, remember?"
"Daddy's turn?"
I nodded and smiled. "Yeah."
"Where's Daddy?"
I walked him to the kitchen, as I knew he'd be hungry. "Daddy's at work too. It's just BB right now. You want a snack?"
He nodded. "Can I have a cookie?"
"Hmm...I don't know if we have cookies. How about I make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"
"Okay."

I fixed him his sandwich and I watched him eat. As I watched him, I got a sudden vision of watching my own child eat. I quickly shook that thought out of my head. No matter what the pregnancy test said, I refuse to get my hopes up. I've done that enough.
I put on a movie for Corey to watch while I started preparing for dinner. Shawn would be home soon, and I like to have dinner at least almost done by the time he gets here. Lately, I've been trying to do everything perfectly for him. I don't know if he really notices though.
"BB, can I help you cook?" Corey asked while I was chopping up vegetables.
"That's very sweet, baby, but I don't want you to hurt yourself. The stove and oven are very hot, and this knife is sharp."
"Maybe when I get big and strong, I can help you then?"
I smiled. "Of course you can. I think Daddy should be home soon, why don't you see if you can see his car outside."
He ran to the window and looked through the curtains. "Daddy's car!" He exclaimed. "Daddy's here!"

I could hear him jumping around by the door, waiting for Shawn to come in. His excitement only grew when the door opened.
"Daddy!"
"Hey, Mini-Me!" Shawn greeted his son. "You ready to have fun this weekend?"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah? Guess where we're going?"
"Uhh...Grandma T's house?" That's what he calls my mother. We all have a close relationship, and she just loves children, so Candice is okay with him calling her Grandma T.
"Nope, even better."
Now I was curious. He hadn't mentioned that we were going anywhere special. I assumed wherever it was, he whispered it to Corey, because the next thing I heard was him gasp with excitement. Then, he came storming into the kitchen.
"BB! BB! Daddy said we going to Disney Land!"
I looked up from preparing dinner and frowned at my husband. "Disney?"
He smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, I was thinking we should all do something fun together this weekend."
My stomach did a flip, as if reminding me that I had a tiny life inside there. With all the losses, I always walked on eggshells with every pregnancy. I always tried to do everything right and not mess up. Disney Land just wasn't something I could do.

"Um, I may have to work this weekend." I mumbled and turned back to the food.
Shawn placed his hands on my waistline. "Baby, come on. It will be fun. You know we need this."
That was true. We did need some good times to take our minds off of the bad. So, I gave in. "Okay."
"Come here," he pulled me closer to him. "I don't think you kissed me today." I smiled a little as he placed his lips on mine. We've been having a hard time lately, but the both of us really are trying. Neither one of us wants to let this go. He smiled too when he pulled back. "That's better."
I playfully rolled my eyes. "Both of you, out of my kitchen. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

~*~*~*~

I moaned in my sleep as I felt the increasing pressure between my legs. It took me a while before I could open and clear my eyes, but even when I did, it was still dark out.
"Baby..." I moaned. Not so much out of pleasure, more so annoyance. It wasn't even 6:00 in the morning.
"Good morning, baby." He continued to kiss my neck.
"It's too early for this..." I whispered and closed my eyes again.
"It's never to early." He responded and thrust a little deeper, causing me to moan again. That time, out of pleasure.
I suddenly remembered that I needed to be cautious of everything I do, so my mission was to get him off of me.
"I have to pee." I pushed up at him.
He pulled my hands away. "Hold it."
"I can't."
"Baby..." he groaned. He pushed deeper, and I moaned a little louder. I told myself to just calm down. I'd probably be fine, as long as he took it easy. So I decided just to enjoy it.

"Ah....don't go so deep..." I moaned when he kept pushing himself inside of me. I appreciated that he was being fairly gentle with me, for the most part, at least.
When we were nearing climax, we held on tightly to each other, and I wrapped my legs around him as I released.
We've been in couple's counseling for a little while now, and one of their "treatment recommendations" is frequent intimacy. I personally don't think they meant sex all the time, but that's how Shawn understood it, and obviously, I can't deny him.
After we finished, he just laid on top of me for a while, which was starting to become uncomfortable. "Shawn." I called out to him.
"Hm?"
"I really do have to pee, so you need to get up."
He chuckled and kissed my collar bone before lifting himself off of me. "Go ahead and get ready too. We're gonna head out in an hour for Disney."
I groaned a little as I stood up. I'd almost forgotten about that.

~*~*~*~

"Ooh, can we go on that ride?" Corey asked as we walked past a roller coaster at Disney Land. Being that it was around the end of the school year for many kids, the park was pretty crowded, but it would only get even more crowded as the summer progressed.
"I don't think you're tall enough for that ride, baby." I answered him.
Shawn stopped and looked down at Corey. "He did have a little growth spurt this year. He might be tall enough."
Corey smiled at that, and he wanted to see if he would be able to ride. So far, we've only been to the smaller rides for younger kids, which was settling to me, since I really didn't want to do too much. Now, I was thinking of some excuse to get out of this roller coaster ride just in case.
Shawn walked Corey up to the height stick, and the entire time, I had my fingers crossed.
"Ah...not quite yet." Shawn sighed, and I let out a breath of relief too. "Maybe next year."
"Aw, man!"
"Maybe we can find a smaller roller coaster. I'm sure there's one here you can ride."

We walked through the park for another few minutes before Shawn found a smaller roller coaster for Corey to ride.
"I'm gonna sit this one out." I said softly to him.
He glanced at me. "You alright?"
I nodded my head. "Yeah, but you know, that funnel cake probably isn't settled just yet."
The excuse worked on him. "Aight, you wanna snap a few pictures?" He asked, holding out his camera.
I smiled and took it from him. "Sure."
I continued to use the camera as my excuse as we continued to make our way through the park. Every time they'd get on a faster ride, I'd offer to take pictures, and they went along with it. It also helped that Corey always wanted to ride with his dad instead of me too.
Once it got dark, we decided to have dinner and stay for the firework show. Corey was knocked out by the time we got in the car.

"Did you have a good time?" Shawn asked me as we were driving back home.
I turned to him and smiled. "Yes, I did."
He smiled back. "Good. I know you've been stressed lately, but I promise, we're gonna work through everything."
I nodded and fought my tears. "I know." I said so, but I wasn't sure if I believed so.

~*~*~*~

AN: For those of you who keep up with "Second Chance" too, I'm going to try to update both of these stories at the same time each time I post, just to keep it fair and interesting :) But no promises though.