Blue

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

My mom came over to help me cook, and she brought my sister along with her. The party was set to start at 2:00 and last a few hours. Shawn was outside making hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill, and my stepdad, Richard, went out to help him. 
"Hey Mamma. How are you?" I asked as I hugged her. She hugged back briefly before pulling back from me and giving me a strange look. "What?" I asked with a touch of nervousness.
"Is there something you want to tell me, Beyoncé?"
I frowned. "No..."
She held a disbelieving look on her face, and she raised her left eyebrow. "So, you expect me to believe you swallowed a watermelon seed or something?"
Solange and I both gasped. She didn't know about the pregnancy either, and I was just shocked that my mom knew.
"Bey, you're-"
"Shh!" I hushed her. "Shawn doesn't know yet. And how did you even know?" I asked my mother.
She rolled her eyes and smirked. "You just told me. Plus, your stomach is as hard as a rock, though your dress almost hides it."

"You're seriously pregnant, Bey?" She was still in shock.
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Solange. I am."
She shook her head disapprovingly, but she let it go with a shrug. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah, I'm happy for you."
I stayed quiet for a while. "Don't get your hopes up."
"How far along are you?" My mother asked.
"Four months in a couple days."
Now, she held a look of disbelief on her face. "And you still haven't told your husband?"
"Well, she ain't the only one in her marriage who keeps secrets."
"Solange," I growled. "Let it go." 
"I have. I just don't know why you stayed with him. You deserve so much better than that."
After finding out about my husband's infidelity, my sister was the first to say that I should leave him. To this day, she still doesn't think he deserves me, and maybe she's right, but I'm no angel either.
"I stayed with him because he's my husband and I love him." I said softly. "Now, please keep this in between us for now. I'll tell him when I'm ready."

The topic wasn't brought up again while we prepared the food, and soon, I heard the doorbell ring. Shawn was just stepping in from the back porch.
"Sounds like the birthday boy is here." I smiled to him. "Can you get that, baby?"
"Sure," he stepped to me and kissed me on the cheek. He also made sure to properly greet my mother and sister before excusing himself.
"So are you waiting for a special moment to tell him? Maybe, Father's Day?"
"Don't start with me, Solange."
She shrugged and finally dropped it.
Over the next half hour, more and more kids showed up for Corey's birthday party. Kelly came with her husband and son Titan as well, and while the kids played outside in the kiddie pools and with the water toys Shawn and I had bought, we all sat down around a table to watch.

Solange let the cat out of the bag to Kelly about the baby, and I warned her not to tell Tim. He and Shawn were good friends too, and Tim can't keep a secret.
"So...is everything okay so far?" She asked cautiously. I never get used to that.
I nodded stiffly. "Yes. So far."
"I'm still baffled on how you even got pregnant." My sister shook her head.
I laughed sarcastically. "The same way you got pregnant. I had sex with my husband."
"Yeah, that's the part I don't get. How do you sleep with someone who..."
"Someone who what? Someone who I've been in love with for almost half my life? Someone who makes me feel like a person, and not an object? I know he was unfaithful to me, but it was only one time. I'm not going to walk out on fifteen years with that man for one night." I stood up from my seat after that and walked back inside. I wasn't really upset, but I did really want a drink.

"Hey," I heard his voice behind me. I turned my head towards him and smiled. "You okay?"
Still holding my smile, I shook my head. "No. I need a glass of wine."
"I think we have some, if you want." He said obliviously.
I shook my head again and turned away. "It's your son's birthday, I'm not gonna drink."
I felt him come up behind me and place his hands lightly on my shoulders. "I know what can make you feel better." He whispered. I felt his hands start to travel down my arms, and I knew he'd eventually try to wrap them around my waist. But if my mother could tell just by hugging me, surely he'd be able to tell too. I couldn't let that happen, so when his hands made it to my wrists, I took them into mine and then turned around.
"We really shouldn't." I said while looking into his eyes.
He responded by leaning into my neck and kissing me lightly. "Frequent intimacy saves marriages, remember?"
I closed my eyes. "We're not intimate. We just have mindless sex." I admitted. It was the truth. And don't get me wrong, the sex is great, it always has been, but lately it's been just that. I don't even remember the last time we were so passionate with each other that it forced an "I love you" from our mouths. We say that we love each other, but we don't make love anymore.