Butterflies were swarming all in my belly as it was nearing the time for me to leave and meet Quan.
Chris had left to Shy's house last night so he wasn't here to calm my nerves. I had so much to say but I didn't think that it was going to come out the right way.
I met Quan outside of Miss Tootsie's restaurant where I just greeted him with a wave. I would've said hello but my voice was in betrayal mode.
We went in, got seated and ordered our drinks and meals. It was pretty silent for a few minutes. I was pretending to be interested in looking at the imaginary designs on the plain white tablecloth while he was burning a hole into me.
"I didn't ask you here to have you look at the tablecloth." He finally broke the silence.
"And I didn't come here to have you stare at me. So I guess we're even."
He waited to respond since the waiter had just came with our food.
"Thank you." Quan said to him before he had walked off. "I just want to talk."
I cut into my smothered turkey wing and took a bite. "Talk."
"Why didn't you answer my phone calls when I kept calling you on the day that you left?"
"Well to be honest, I felt as if you had made your decision when you had me waiting three extra hours for you to show up." I didn't hide the bitterness in my voice either.
He said nothing so I took that chance to get more out.
"Then you had all the nerve to show up at my event, singing some damn song about how you're in love with me. You're so in love with me but you didn't fight for me! Yes I did some things to you and I always admitted to them but you-" I paused. "You let me leave, not only that but you knew exactly where I was at. Did you ever think to come to Philly and get me? Did you?" I tried to fight the tears but they started flowing.
"I wasn't answering because I thought that you would just come for me. You stopped calling, you didn't even try. My number has never changed because I had hope that you would come to me. I was alone and beating myself up for all I did to you and I got nothing. Yet four years later here you come with a fucking song. Fuck out of here!"
I finally looked at him after getting everything out and he just sat there with no emotion. I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to reach across the table and punch him in his face. Especially when I noticed a smirk creeping across his lips.
"Fuck you, Ja'Quan. You think this is a damn joke." I stood from the table and walked out of the restaurant.
When I made it to my car I got in and broke down crying. I felt like he was playing with my emotions. Knocks came at my window and when I looked up, Quan was standing on the passenger side with the food in containers.
"Let me in please?" He begged after I cracked the window a bit.
"Go and do what you've been doing for the past four years and leave me alone."
"Siani, please!"
I gave in and unlocked the doors only because I really wanted my food.
"I got out of work late that day. I swear I sped the entire way to your apartment just to find it empty." He started. "Believe me when I say that I wanted to come up here but I was afraid. Don't put all the blame on yourself because in had parts in some of our downfalls also."
"Whatever you say." I shrugged.
"I've been here for about six months and I would see you whenever you came over to Shy's house. To be honest with you, I was afraid to come up to you. I saw you at the skating rink and I was going to step to you before Starr even saw you but you were with your boyfriend."
