Fast Car

Nine

Today, I woke up just like any other day... Or so I thought!

I woke up, washed my face and walked to the house door, I found my breakfast basket already prepared by Isa; she had prepared me a cheese sandwich, a juice, a small bowl of mixed fruits and a cupcake and has left a note on each of them.

The Sandwich said; "put me in the oven if you want to enjoy my gooey powers"

The Juice said; "Add some ice on me so I will be able to refresh you"

The fruits said; "Put me in the fridge so you enjoy me later during work"

The cupcake said; "I'm just as sweet as the person who prepared me :)"

She amazes me how she thinks of every detail and how creative she can get. She has been preparing me breakfast for almost 7 years now and every day she surprises in a different way. How can I not get spoiled and get used to such royal treatment? I am sure not one person will ever get close to treating me the way she does... and they wonder why I feel so deeply for this girl.

When the guys come over from beer or a night in they ask about her as soon as they step into the door, and when we go out if they see me without her they always demand her presence.

Even though she is so shy and acts cutely awkward around them, they love her. She always prepares us yummy snacks and decides to leave us alone but we always force her to stay with us. They always find things to talk about around her; she makes conversations so easy and desirable.

There is something about a girl who shares knowledge and discusses "guy things" with us – cars and sports are her forte, which makes her irresistible. I just wish she knows how worthy she is and how fun she is to be around!

I get jealous sometimes because I want to be the only one who gives her attention and takes hers in return. Then I look at how she treats me, how she trusts and how she acts around me and it soothes me because I can clearly see that I am different for her, if I didn't know her any better I would say she loves me but confess my feelings and risk everything I have built so far with her?

A risk I am not willing to take.

I ate and headed to the garage I had few things to finish and then deliver the cars by this afternoon.

I love what I do so much and I don't know if I would ever be here if it weren't for Isa, how she got the idea and how she always keeps me motivated. I love how her hazel eyes shine brighter and how she gets all so excited when I ask her to help me with a specific thing.

I always knew she loved cars but I didn't know that much, I love how she talks about them, how much she is so curious to learn more.

I love how she pushes her brown hair to the side or just tucks it in a bun on top of her head - that just exposes the beauty of her eyes - whenever she is trying to focus on a new information or task, how much she knows, sometimes she intimidates me with her knowledge. I think cars is the only thing she is that much passionate about and I am so happy I can share this passion with her.

Focused between my thoughts and the engine between my hands time flew by and I suddenly heard footsteps and saw Isa walking through the door; something was different about her, I don't know if she looks mad or fed up but one thing for sure she was not ok!

And boy was I right, something was different... it was her!

I know I have always said she was a strong girl, but she was always safe. She never thought of leaving home, she always stuck by her father's side and took an oath to care for him no matter how unworthy of her he is she hung on and stayed.

She swallowed her pride, she gave up on her life and she tolerated the cruel looks of people around her. The hardest thing for her was to hold her head up high against all those people and she did it no matter how hard it was to step on herself over and over again.

Today, as she was talking she was looking everywhere for splinters of hope, she was finally over everything and is in this life for herself and I was loving this side of her. She keeps on surprising me with how much she can outgrow herself.

She finally decided to leave!

She used to always tell me:

"I am not selfish like the woman who left me behind and never looked back!"

"No matter how bad he is blood does not turn into water, and even though he is the furthest from being a fa in father but I will always remain a daughter" this statement gives me goosebumps every time I remember it and I realize how generous and giving this girl is.

She asked me if I was happy here, and if I want to be here for the rest of my life, I nodded because I didn't know what to answer, because if I want to answer I would tell her that she is the only reason I am here. I would tell her that I need her or any fragment of hers to have a proper day.

I would just bend on one knee tell her how much I love her and ask her to spend every single day of her life next to me. I would promise to make her the happiest human being on earth and I would love her day in and day out until my lungs wear out, and then I will still love her as a ghost because my heart and soul would never get tired or bored of her.

Then she thought she was convincing me to move out of here. I loved watching her try, but she does not know that I wait all night every night just to see her smile, so I would drive around the globe to be with her. She does not know that I made myself a puppet on strings for her; sometimes I understand that she needs healing but sometimes she hurts me when she doesn't see me the way I see her, she hurts me unintentionally when she tells me how much she hates love, she calls it a 'stupid hallmark catch line".

I gave in to her convincing and told her that I will leave with her and that we will leave tonight, how can I not when she just told me that she cannot imagine life without me, how can I let her leave by herself when all I want in this life is to be by her side.

Then, she did the unexpected; she made everything worthwhile when she threw herself in my arms. I would move through a hundred cities for her touch and her happiness. Her touch revitalizes me, it can take me higher than any star and deeper than any ocean, she is my peace and my chaos, she's got that hold on me that no matter how hard it is for me I don't think I will ever want to be freed from.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, so I held her from her waist and pulled her as humanly close as I could, I could feel her heart beat one with mine and I couldn't be happier. I am not a hopeless romantic but this girl tests my patience and capabilities in so many ways. She brushed her fingers through my hair and I knew then that love is tangible. I pulled my head to the back, I wanted to kiss her so bad, I wanted to take her lips in mine, see how she tastes and tell her how much I love her. I looked into her hazel eyes gleaming at me my heart failed me and said, "I would drive a lifetime just to see you smile!" instead.

As I heard those words leave my lips, I could sense her panic, her eyes froze and she started stuttering with her own thoughts... How stupid can I be? What have I done?

She then turned her back and left...

I know I have a girlfriend, who loves me so much, and I love her in return, I am happy with her, but she will never be my Isabel. I am not using Aisha, and she knew exactly the mess that I am when she decided to be with me. How long will our relationship go? I don't know, just like a million other things that I wish I had answers for, but sadly I have no answers for.

Tonight, I will start a completely new life, yes I am scared as hell but as long as my super girl is by my side I am practically ready to face anything.

Today I woke up thinking it was just another day, but it turned out to be the start of my new life...