Fast Car

Sixty-Two

Adam

"Goodnight Adam" she sighs in her soft voice with a tinge of sadness, loss and disappointment.

I make sure she hangs the phone up, I look at my phone and I plant my lips on it... hoping in some kind of twisted way she would feel my kiss.

Isabel... why would things turn out to be so hard between us?

You were the easiest and the best thing in my life... you were the sign that I must have done something right somehow, somewhere... now I know I am a sinner.

Yesterday got away... all we have is today and the memories we gathered with every breath... we are no longer the same people we once were, all I have is your whisper in my mind...

I wish I can be the man I was under your touch, I became someone you cannot embrace... and I don't belong in your crafted perfect little life of yours...

"Who are you talking to at this hour?" Aisha's voice slaps me back to the balcony caressing me... to the reality I am trying my best to escape... to a life I've built on sins and blunders... to a life I've lived without my love.

"Wrong number..." I lie, because that's what I do best...

"When are you gonna quit lying Adam? Goodnight Isabel... is not a wrong number... when were you gonna tell me you saw her and you gave her your new number?" Aisha has a gift in driving me crazy; she activates a fight with a blink of an eye.

"What do you want now?"

"I want to feel that I did not throw more than four years of my life for nothing... I want to feel that you are worth the sacrifice I made. I want to believe you and in you..."

"Aisha I moved here on a friendship basis... and you haven't missed a lot on life, you just came from a date yourself..."

"Adam I fucking love you.... I've been trying to make you jealous but you are just an ice block... Adam I was here to dry your tears, I was here to bail you out of jails after your stupid fights, and I was the one to throw away the shit you've been dealing and abusing. All for her, all to forget her stupid mistake... while she is cuddled in the arms of her loved one drinking crystal champagne with diamonds in the bottom of her glass"

"Shut up Aisha, she is nothing like that..."

"Stop fucking defending her! Just stop it... hate her, forget her, get over her!!!!"

I don't know why or how, I don't know the motives or the reason all I know now is, I shut her up... regardless of the method.

Since Isabel, I never kissed with passion. I never kissed with lust. I never kissed with love...

I just kiss because I should, because girls love it... I kiss with hate and anger.

Making love is for those few minutes of euphoria and then everything goes back to normal...

Except for tonight... tonight I still have a new version of isabel's voice in my head, I have her live photo in my mind in her little black dress under the rain. I still have the taste of her lips fresh from yesterday on my lips.

"Isabel..." I moan her name in the middle of a heated moment with Aisha

"Fuck you Adam! I hate you. I hate you. I am leaving you..." Aisha more than half-naked is packing her bags and leaving me in the middle of night.

"Aisha... stop please... I will go. It is time I face my life alone. Listen..." I take her in my arms, and for the first time I feel I am acting like the adult, I should be...

"Aisha, I fucked up with you and yourlife... not once, not twice, countless of times and you managed to stay by my side... now I know the major asshole I am. Now I know that you are the only good thing that I took for granted. I will leave tonight... I will release you from the deal... because I did not keep my end of it anyway... please forgive me... and thank you from the deep bottom of my heart for everything you have done for me..."

"Adam... I am sorry too. I pushed your limits countless of times too... I asked you to move on when you weren't ready... I took advantage of our deal when I should have been helping you... I know we agreed you'd move here so you don't have to drink as much as being alone and so we can share the rent in order to save more money... Adam I wasn't completely honest with you... the day you moved here James encountered Isabel in your old apartment, he told her we are back together... so she gave him a letter to give to you... James wanted to protect you so he gave me the letter and I hid it... here..."

I take a paper from her hand... Isabel's handwriting with tears smudging most of the words... my heart sinks in place... and I throw myself at the end of the bed... I read her words and I die with every one of them... I remember the monster I became; I remember not searching for her... I remember putting my ego ahead of my heart... and that was the biggest I have made in the history of the mistakes I have done.

I look at Aisha and I see how guilt is eating her up from the inside... so I decide to just leave and not say a word.

I storm off with my luggage to a destination unknown....

"Hey man, I know it's late... you up for a drink?" I receive a text message from Zach... my partner in the workshop I work at, for the last three years... I think he just saved my life for the second time...

The first when he chose me to work for – with him and now is the second.

"That's exactly what I need man, I am coming..." I reply and I take a cab to his place with 2 bags.

As I let the whisky drops down my throat... that tingling feeling is all I need...

"So what keeps you up till now?" I ask Zach to keep my mind off Aisha and James's betrayal...

"I am in love with a taken girl..." he answers as he gulps his whisky

"Easy man..." anything compared to my situation is a piece of cake...

"Who is also my boss..."

"Boss? Dude I thought you only own the workshop..."

"Was my boss I meant..." and he takes a bigger gulp of his drink

"Good luck with that.... Anyway, man I gotta head out find me somewhere to sleep... Aisha and I are no more of whatever we were..."

"You are not going anywhere at this time, you can crash here for as long as you want..." Zach says and I was in no place to decline his offer.

He heads to his bedroom and I crash on the couch....

Soon enough a ringing telephone wakes me up at what seems like a very early hour...

"Yes..."

"Good morning Zach, I know it is Saturday but Liam needs the William's contract urgently and I can't find it..." her voice in my ear washes over me like ice-cold water. I look at the phone and I see Isabel Garcia saved on Zach's phone.

"I am sorry I must have answered Zach's phone by mistake I will wake him up for you..." I answer formally hoping she would not recognize my voice.

I walk towards Zach's room throw the phone on him "Your boss needs you piece of liar" I tell him and I leave the room to put my shoes on and leave before knowing who else has fucking lied to me too.

"Adam wait please..."

"Fuck off man... three years you've been lying to me?"

"Wake up bro, I haven't been lying... you never mentioned Isabel to me. I was in no fucking place to tell you she opened that freaking workshop for you... she hired you. She saved you. Not me. Wake up man, not everyone is in conspiracy..."

"Tell Isabel I quit... I need no one's pity..."

"You can't quit you moron, the workshop is yours... she changed the ownership yesterday... and when I asked her why... do you wanna know what her answer was?"

Shock and shame are taking the best of me, I shake my head because I really know what she told him...

" "He is home..." she answered..."