Fast Car

Fourteen

... and then out of the blue he asked me to dance!

There was no music, but there was the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks and resting on the shore. There was the sound of branches breaking and burning in order to feed on the fire. There was only us... His eyes in my eyes and my hand in his hand...

I turned my face to the side, looked around and I saw myself nodding in approval. He tightened his hand on mine and grabbed me closer to his body; he placed the other arm around my waist and buried his face in my neck. I rested my head on his chest and wished I could freeze this moment forever.

As my head was resting right next to his heart, I could feel how strong and fast his heartbeats were. I tried to mask mine so he doesn't know that I am out of heartbeats, that my heart skipped all the beats at that very moment, it left its place to be with the one person it was beating for. I could feel how tensed Adam was and that something was on his mind no matter how soft his touch is.

I looked up to ask him what was he thinking of that is bothering him so much and I saw him looking at me deep in his thoughts, he left me to sit by the fire and then asked me to take a seat by his side. I sat down, he poured us two glasses of wine, he gulped his so quickly as I sipped slowly on mine trying to familiarize myself with its tangy taste.

"Can you please open the necklace that you are wearing?"

"I've been wearing this necklace for four years; I never knew it can open!" I replied surprised

I swiveled the necklace I was wearing forever and found "You are my home," engraved on the inside of the heart.

He put his glass on the sand next to his foot and he took my hand and held it between both his hands, his touch was my home... He was my home! 

"Isa it has always been you! Since the very first day... and it will always be you! Till the very last day...

I knew I loved you when I gave you this necklace, but I never had the strength to confess, I knew if I did back then I would jeopardize losing you, and I would never want to live a life without your stupidness – so I just wrote it inside until the day I gather my strength to own up.

Wherever we go and no matter what happens you will always be my home...

Do you remember the day your mom left? It was on that very day on that hammock that I first fell in love with you... That day was going to be the start of a very dark life for me, but you turned everything around, your tears changed everything. You were still 15 years old and I was 16, I was going to be a drug dealer in order to make easy money. But when I saw your tears, I felt the need to protect you, I felt like I need to be there for you and I did!

And I've been here for you and it was the most beautiful seven years of my life, but I was also suffering in silence. You were hurting me, every time you would give me a ray of hope and then you just go and shut it in my face. I crave your touch constantly, I dream of us every time I close my eyes, I fantasize about us walking by the ocean, our hands intertwined. I know you were afraid; you still are, even now, I am sure you are in denial, and not believing the words I am saying.

Every day I look at you; walking, going to work, dancing, goofing, thinking, crying, being you and I want to tell you that are the most beautiful thing in my life, I want to run to you and tell you a million things but my mouth would fail me at every attempt.

I have been scared for so long... but today under those millions of stars above us, I decided to risk it all, and I hope that you will be there to break my fall.