Big Time POV Switch

Kendall's POV: Plagued By Bitterness

*Kendall’s POV*

               The evening was now over as the sun came up and our guests, including my brothers, took their leave. We said our goodbyes and our “good nights” even though it was well past ghost hour. Carlos and James went upstairs to their rooms, and Logan helped me clean the kitchen.

               “Thanks,” I said as I pushed the chairs around the table in and wiped it down with a wet rag. I walked over to the sink to wring out the wash cloth and then set it on the counter.

               “For what?” he questioned as he made his way to my side to wash his hands; there was a cut on his palm- someone had knocked over a beer bottle and he tried to pick it up.

               “For making me come downstairs,” I said with a grin as I took his hand and looked at it. The cut wasn’t very deep, more of a scratch, but it still needed to be cleaned. “Wait here,” I told him. I walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to the downstairs bathroom. I looked under the cabinet for some first aid stuff. I found some gauze and antiseptic. I went back to the kitchen to find Logan exactly where I’d left him. I walked to his side and took his hand. I cleaned the wound and then bandaged it. There was a heavy silence in the air, and I finally decided to break it, “I actually did have fun tonight. You were right. I love her, and I miss her-that doesn’t mean I can lock myself up in my room like a teenage girl who didn’t get invited to prom.”

               Logan smiled, his dimples so prominent in his face-which always made me smile-and his eyes sparkling, as he said, “I’m glad you decided to come down here. Two teenagers would’ve been too much to handle,” he smirked and winked at me. I shook my head as I made my way out of the kitchen and into the living room. I sat on the couch. He followed me and sat next to me. “Seriously though Ken, I am glad that you came down tonight. It was fun.”

               I didn’t know what else to say. I was already sobering up more than I’d like to admit-because then I’d have to admit to how much I really had to drink-and I realized that before I was drunk I hadn’t said much of anything. So I just sat in the silence and turned on the TV. Ironically, Big Time Rush was on. Logan and I sat and watched ourselves act like idiots on the TV show that made us. It was then that it hit me; we were watching an episode that Addie probably watched on her bad days to cheer herself up. We weren’t just watching TV; we were watching someone’s life line. And we as actors weren’t just actors on a silly cartoon; we were someone’s safe haven, asylum, and heart.

               I didn’t cry, I’d cried too much, but I did start to ache and feel pain again. Our little girl wasn’t here, she was somewhere else and we couldn’t be with her and we couldn’t help her. I couldn’t be there to sing her to sleep, Logan couldn’t keep the bad dreams away, Los wouldn’t be there to make her laugh and smile, and James wouldn’t be there to protect her in every way possible that he could. We weren’t with her. We weren’t near her-but someone we all knew personally was with her. Demi, the woman that took her away from us was within walking distance of the institution that Adele was placed in. It made me feel bitter and angry. Why was she allowed to be so close? She needed to leave, and she needed to stay away-both from Addie, and from me.