Hidden Feelings

•Chapter 4•

AMELIAS POV
Today is one year without Mark. I miss him so much but I'm not sure if I should open up to Owen about it. He got up and held my waist and kissed me. The kiss felt so good. I smiled at him. I opened the bedroom door and Derek was in the kitchen. I walked over and hugged him.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you too," I said. We looked at each other and started crying. He pulled me back into a hug. I sat down at the table next to Owen.
"Mark," I said quietly. He nodded. Derek sat across from me.
"What time do you want to go to the cemetery?" He asked.
"10?" I suggested.
"Okay," he said. I ate toast and grabbed Owen's arm in the direction of my room. I closed my door and hugged him. I cried into him. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back.
I was sobbing now. I put my head on his chest and I could hear his heartbeat. I broke out of the hug and looked at him.
"I'm a mess I'm sorry," I said.
"There's nothing to be sorry about," Owen said putting his hands on my shoulders.
"I should get dressed for the cemetery," I said.
"Do you want me to come?" He asked.
"Yes," I said. I put a dress on and fixed my bun. I wasn't going to put makeup on because I'll be a mess later.
"You look pretty," Owen said trying to lighten the mood.
"Too bad its for the wrong reason," I said coldly. I sat down at the foot of the bed.
"I'm sorry that was mean, you were trying to be nice," I said.
"It's okay, you're hurting," he said. I put my hand on his face and looked into his eyes. I leaned in and kissed him softly. I love the taste of his lips. Derek knocked on the door. I got up and opened the door.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said reaching for Owen's hand. He grabbed it and we walked out to Derek's car. I sat in the front and Owen sat in the back. Derek drove over to the cemetery. We all got out and I grabbed Owen's hand. Derek out his arm around me. I leaned into Derek and still held Owen's hand. We walked over to his grave and Derek and I began crying again. I let go of Owen's hand and hugged Derek tight. I looked at Owen and hugged him tight too.
-
We all got back and Owen got paged to the hospital. Derek and I took the day off.
"I'll see you later?" I asked as he walked out.
"Yeah," he said.
"Okay," I said as he walked out the door. I closed the door behind him and sat on the couch next to Derek.
"You like him don't you," he said.
"Yeah," I said.
"You should tell him," he said.
"I think he already knows," I said, "and he also kissed me."
"You guys are cute," he said.
"You're not mad?" I asked.
"No," he said.
"I think I love him," I said nervously.
"and that's a bad thing, right?" he asked.
"Yes," I said, "because I either run or push everyone away."
"Me too," he said.
-
I woke up to my phone ringing. Derek was asleep on the couch across from me. I grabbed my phone and stumbled off the couch and walked into the other room.
{phone call}
"Hello?" I said groggily.
"I'm sorry did I wake you?" Owen said.
"Yeah, but I'm fine," I said.
"Okay, my shift ends in like 20 minutes, so do you want me to come over?" He asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Okay I'll see you soon," he said.
"I'll see you soon," I said. I hung up and walked out to the living room. Derek rolled over and looked at me.
"Who were you talking to?" Derek said sleepily.
"Owen," I said.
"Cool," he said.
"Yeah," I sat down next to him.
"If you love someone you should tell them," he said.
"Gosh I miss Mark," I said.
"Me too," he said.
"I think I love Owen, but I'm not sure," I said quietly.
"How so?" He asked.
"Well, it's taken me a long time to build up my wall and I'm not sure if I'm ready to let someone in," I said looking at Derek.
"I know it's hard for you," he said.
"Yeah," I said. He kissed my head and pulled me into a hug.
-
Derek was upstairs and someone knocked on the door. I opened it and it was Owen. I was wearing a tank top and sweats and my hair was a mess but I didn't care.
"Hey," he said.
"Hi," I smiled. A smiled appeared on his face.
"Wanna go over to my place?" he asked.
"Yeah sure," I said. I closed the door and it was cold out.
"Cold?" He asked.
"Yeah, a little bit," I laughed. He took his jacket off and put it over my shoulders.
"Thanks," I said. We walked through the woods in the cold together.
"Owen," I said.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"I'm not sure how to say this..." I started, "but I really, really, really, really like you." He smiled at me.
"I really really really really like you too," he said. I smiled back at him and kissed his cheek her put his arm around me as we continued walking. He kissed the side of my head. We got to his trailer and he unlocked the door. We got in and I hung up his coat.
"Want a sweatshirt?" he asked closing the door.
"Yeah thanks," I said. He tossed a sweatshirt at me and I sat down at the table and checked my phone. He sat down across from me.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey," he said.
"How was work," I said.
"It was good, few traumas, didn't loose anyone," he said.
"That's good," I said.
"I'm sorry you had a rough day and I wasn't here," he said.
"It's ok, and you were here at my worst so," I said. He got up and sat next to me and put his arm around me. He rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head. I could feel my heart beating faster as I leaned into him. He moved closer and lifted my chin with his finger. He leaned in and kissed me passionately. I was wrong, I'm ready for him to be in my life, and I'm in love.