Never Be Alone: Book One

Chapter 4: Not Okay

*Isabelle's Point of View*

Pain. It seems to be the only reminder that I'm still alive. Although death doesn't seem so bad after all.

Dear Diary,

Entry: August 2nd, 2014

I feel like a ten year old love struck writing down my feelings in this 'diary'. I don't really remember when I had gotten this.

These past three months have been terrible. After losing Shawn I found Seth and right from the start I knew he was a mistake.

I can't help but think that all of this is my fault. Because I am alive and I'm here writing this, some how I fear I'm letting everyone down. The cuts on my legs and shoulders aren't enough I've started to cut my wrists. I don't like to wear short sleeves anymore.

I was happy when Shawn came back it's been a few weeks and I'm just not happy anymore. I don't think I'm meant to be here.

I close my diary not having much else to say. I quietly walk down the stairs to here my mom and dad talking in the kitchen.

"I just don't know what to do with her Will she's just looked down lately I thought it was because Shawn was gone but now I.."

"Anna maybe this was a mistake." My mother looked at my father awe struck.

"What was a mistake?" My dad looked at her tears brimming his eyes.

"Adopting Isabelle." I stood shocked I was adopted.

"No William no we adopted her when she was just a baby, I am not letting my baby girl go."

"That's not what I meant Anna I was just saying that maybe it was a mistake for us to adopt her without knowing anything about her birth parents, what if she wants to find them." I couldn't dare listen to them anymore. I ran back up to my room tears streaming down my face as I picked back up my diary ripping out separate pages to write brief goodbye letters.

I suppose this is it even though I said I was done with this entry. I have decided to end it once and for all.

I've just let down to many people down.

I've decided to write letters to everyone I've let down.

~ Isabelle Rose Parker

I put the diary on my bed with the letters and a note that says 'read these' on top I then quietly walk to my bathroom shutting the door.

Taking out a bottle of my medicated pills, I take a handful of them which is practically the whole bottle and swallow them all, taking out my razor I cut deep into my arms sitting in my bathtub, I let the blood drain out of my arms as the pills set in tears stream down my face as I think about all the people I have let down.

My mom, My dad, Seth, Shawn, and most importantly myself.

I can't live anymore, I can't stand to hurt or let anyone else down.

The darkness consumed me as my one last tear rolls down my face.

*Shawn's Point of View*

I knock on the door of Issy's house, Mrs. Parker opens the door I smile at her waving slightly.

"Hi Anna is Issy here?" Mrs. Parker chuckles letting me step into the house.

"Of course Shawn She's in her room." I say a quick thank you and walk upstairs to Issy's room, knocking on the door I call out her name and received no answer. I opened the door to see her room as normal but Issy was no where to be found, I looked at her bed to see a book and paper on top of it. I walk over to the bathroom knocking on the door I call out to her.

"Issy hey are you in there." No answer, I turn the knob trying to open the door but I was locked. I grabbed one of Issy's bobby pins and started using it as a pick so I could unlock the door. I finally got it unlocked putting the pin in my pocket I called through the door one more time before entering.

"Issy are you....." A wave of shock hit me as I see her. She's sitting in the bathtub blood pouring out of the arms a trail of blood leading to the tub. There's an empty bottle of pills on the floor of the bathroom, also a razor blade on the sink fresh with blood. The most shocking thing is her face, its drenched in tears.

"Issy! Issy wake up please wake up." I ran over to her my body raked in sobs I took towels wrapping them around her arms to stop the bleeding. As I picked her up bringing her down stairs.

"Anna, Issy's hurt bad." Mrs. Parker rushed in taking in her daughters appearance calling out to her husband to call and ambulance.

Minutes later the ambulance shows up, the paramedics take Issy away as they put her in the ambulance allowing only one person to go with her to the hospital in the ambulance, in the end I was the one in the ambulance. Mr and Mrs. Parker followed in their car behind the ambulance. My sons had quieted down to a mear few sniffles, her hand was cold it made me shiver, the medics in the ambulance worked to get her breathing rate up and to stop the bleeding from her arms.

We arrived at the hospital at last, the medics rolled Issy in I followed but was stopped at the door to the ER.

"I'm sorry sir but you can't go in there." The nurse who stopped me stated as I attempted to get around her.

"No you don't understand she needs me please." The nurse continued to push me out as I continued to plead with her.

"Sit I'm sorry your going to have to wait until we transport her to a room." The nurse walked away as I sat down in a chair in the hall putting my face in my hands I started to sob all over again just as a great realization come washing over me.

My best friend tried to commit suicide.

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Authors Note:

Hey guys sorry I haven't been posting as much I can't find my phone so I am generally unable to post until now be looking for new updates here soon.

~Paige