Me and THEM

20: 진 왜?! (JIN, WAE?!)

"You have to leave before the party. You don't deserve to get caught up in this. This is Jin's problem. Our family's problem. Not yours."

"Please Yunji. Please." I've never seen V's eyes so serious before. He was nearly pleading. Maybe he already was.

Eottokhae? (What do I do?)

   Why won' the just tell me what's the problem?

"What's the problem, V oppa? Help me out." I said. He heaved a sigh and removed his hands from my shoulders. He licked his lip and looked away.

"Just go home if you don't want to get your life messier than it already is." His voice was the coldest I've heard. Gosh, he didn't even spare me a glance after that and left me alone. My lips parted and I couldn't think why I didn't stop him from leaving me. I looked down on my fingers.

Go home... If you don't want to get your life messier than it already is...

Is my life that messy already?

Is my life that chaotic than before?

  Without knowing it, tears started rolling down my cheeks. And from my chin, it drops on my knees. I was crying but there were no sounds. Outside, it was tranquil. Inside? I feelnlike my heart is screaming and my head is losing its own mind. What's wrong with me? Why do I always magnet myself with trouble? Am I that foolish?

"Yunji, I thought you left," I heard Jin's tensed voice in the dining room. I heard his footsteps ascending towards me. I couldn't even manage looking up to him. His breath hits my hair but I didn't dare to meet his eyes. I kept my head down. This time, my tears didn't roll on my cheeks. They directly fell on my knees or on the floor.

"Damn, why are you crying?" I felt fright in his voice when he tipped my chin upwards. He quickly wipes my tears with the sleeves of his sweater. It was merely no use. The tears weren't stopping.

"Yunji, why are you crying?" he bent his knees a little so our eyes would level. I read worry in his eyes. He holds both sides of my arms and shakes me a little.

"Please, tell me." he whispered. Less demandingly, more softly.

"D-do I deserve you?" I bitterly smiled. That first question made his forehead crease.

"D-do I deserve anyone?" I asked again.

"Ofcourse you do, w—"

"No. I don't." I cut him off, "Ever since I step in this world that I don't even belong in...all I ever get was trouble and pain. And even when I try to help...I-I just...I just make it worse. It's a ch-chain reaction. I mess up once...And the rest of m-my life messes up..." I sobbed badly when I tried to talk.

"I... Just... I ruin things...", I looked down and bit my lip, "Even though I try so hard not to..." more tears came out and harder sobs escaped my lips. Jin winced every sob I let out. It was like he was getting stabbed with my sobs. He places one hand on my back and the other on the back of my head and pushes me towarss him. He hugs me in that way and placed his chin over my head. Carefuly, he squeezed me to a warm hug. And like magic, my tears slowly faded and my heart finally slowed down.

"Where the heck did you get that idea from?" I heard him ask.

"I just realized that nothing good ever happened to me since I transferred. Without me being here, Taeyeon and Suzy would still be in the class A. Baekhyun wouldn't have to argue with his father against the marriage. He would never have been hurt by me. V wouldn't have to look after a girl who doesn't look after herself. And you..." I smiled, "You don't have to be burdened by a girl who knows nothing but trouble, trouble, trouble."