What Happens Next

It's More Than a Mission

I told Glenn what happened, when I did, I was afraid to look at him, I didn't that whole day.  Forty-Eight hours makes a huge difference.  After that day, I was planning my trip to find everything out.

I was packing my bag looking around my room.  I put some food and water in it, now I was putting medical supplies in as well.  "Jessica," I hear a voice call out coming up my stairs.  I quickly covered my bag up with my blanket when I looked to my door seeing Carl walk in.  "Hey what's up?" I ask looking at him, "nothing, just making sure you were ok, no one has seen you since,"
"yes, Carl I'm fine."
"What's with the lump under your blanket?"
"It's a pillow."
"I don't think a pillow looks like that," he walked towards my bed.
"Mine does," I got in front of him putting my hand on the blanket.
"Jessica, move," he grabbed the blanket.
"No."
He gently grabbed me moving me aside pulling the blanket up seeing my bag and with it packed.  "What the hell Jess?  Even after the other day?"
"I need to find out Carl."
"You need to stay."
"I have to go.  I need to know."
"I can find out with you Jessica."
"I don't want you to.  You're gonna want to come back here and he would give you a ride back and end up finding out that we're the people who attacked him and he'll do something."
"No, I'm not letting you go alone."
"And I can't let you come."
"Jessica.. please just let me come, I'll stay with you there, I just don't want you going and getting hurt.  What if that's not him?!"
"Then I'll find a way out and I wont get hurt."
"Just let me come.  Please."
I looked at him, I didn't want him to come, what if something did happen?  What if I got hurt and he brought me back here and ended up telling everyone why I left and how I got hurt?  Or if he gets hurt, maybe even killed?  I wouldn't be able to live knowing that he was dead because of my own selfishness.

I looked at Carl as we were quiet, "please Jessica, I can't have you leave alone and get hurt, I can't let that happen to you," he looked at me as I looked back and sighed looking down then up at him, "fine, but if something happens and we get separated, you come back here, you don't tell them the truth, only Glenn.  Glenn is the only one who knows that Negan might be my dad, and I want to keep it that way for a bit longer." I looked at him in the eye, "fine."

With that, I packed more food and water and we left the camp, we told everyone we were going on a run.  We walked down the road and stared forward, "so, why are you so determined to find out?" He asks, "He's my dad.  I found my brother, my mom is dead, why should my dad?  Plus, those men on the road the other day that saw me, they looked at my locket, he said that he was my dad, they started bringing me to him when I got out of the truck.  I wish I didn't."  I sighed looking forward.  "I'm glad you did.  If you didn't, you wouldn't have came back and I wouldn't know that you're ok," Carl says looking at me.  "That, or the guilt?" I looked back at him.  He looked forward as we both became quiet, "both," was the last thing to come to his mouth.

Hours later, the sun started to set as we kept walking, "how far is this place?" Carl asks, "far.  We past the place where the men picked me up, now I'm just following the way they went.  It's honestly not that far from The Hilltop.  I wanna say maybe 5 or 6 miles?"  I looked to Carl and then forward to the road, "we should stop some where to rest," he suggests, "you can.  I'm gonna keep going," I looked to him again, then back forward.
"Jessica.. you can't keep pushing yourself."
"I'm not Carl."
"What are you doing then?"
"Why are you continuously getting mad with me?" I stopped looking at him.
"I'm not, I'm just trying to introduce you to reality."
"I know reality Carl, you're trying to do something else..!"
"Trying to make sure you don't get killed!"
"I'll be fine Carl, I'm still alive..! I'm a survivor!"
"For now, until you let yourself get killed in the end!"
"How do you know I'll let myself get killed!?"
"I know you better than you think Jessica."
"You don't know shit then." I glared at him, "all I want, is for my brother to be ok, Maggie, her baby, and you.  I want all of you to be ok, because I care about you..!  But I guess that's not good enough."
"I want you safe so I can see you live, I care about you Jessica, and I just want to know you're ok so I know I'm doing something right."
"You do more things right than I ever have."
"How Jessica?  I disappointed my mom.  She'd be scared of who I am."
"You've done everything you have so you could be alive."
"I killed someone I didn't even need to.  But I did."
"You've killed someone to protect me."
"Because I care about you.  You're someone important to me."

I looked at Carl, up and down, my eyes met his one eye.  I remembered what he looked like before he lost his right beautiful, blue eye.  I looked at Carl as I walked to him closing my eyes, placing my lips against his.  When we pulled from each other, just seconds after, I looked up at him as he looked down at me.  We were quiet.  "Can we just find a place to stay for the night..?" He asks softly.  I smiled faintly and looked at him and nodded, "yeah. Let's go."

The sun went down and we walked to a barn.  I sat down near a hay bale and looked down at the ground.  Carl made a small hole and started a small fire.  We sat near it as I watched the fire flicker with heat.  "Can I ask you what that was about on the road?" Carl said softly breaking the silence.  I hesitated when I soon shrugged, "if I'm going to be honest with you Carl, I've had a thing for you for a while, I was just scraed to say anything.  I figured you didn't like me since you have that weird thing with Enid." My voice was soft and timid.  I saw in the corner of my eyes, Carl looking up and I heard a small chuckle, "if I'm going to be honest Jess, I have more of a thing for you than I do Enid.  Yeah, she's a cool, funny person, but I hang out with you a lot, that's a reason I care about you so much." When he spoke, he seemed so confident. I looked at him and I smiled a bit as he smiled right back at me.

We decided to eat a can of beans and put the fire out and called it a night.  But we still had an adventure ahead of us.