Reborn

Chapter Twenty Seven

SHADOW's POV

I couldn't stop pacing. The second we had arrived at Alec's and made sure we were safe inside, I started pacing and couldn't stop. I knew that if I did, I was going to go straight back out and find Leah so that I could kill her.

Not only did I feel angry, I felt betrayed. I had thought after last time, she would have learnt that I was on her side, that she was my friend and she could count on me. The fact I kept her alive should have proved that.

It reminded me of a conversation I'd had with Violet. She had told me that she never put people on a pedestal, so she wouldn't be surprised when people fell off it. I remember being appalled that she could live her life that way, even though I understood why. She even told me that she wouldn't be surprised if Leah turned her back on us, but what she conveniently left out was how much it would fucking hurt.

I'd known Leah a lot longer than I'd known Alec. Apart from Vince, she was the person that I had counted on the most. It didn't matter that I could have left her alone without a backwards glance because I know I never needed to. She was my friend and I trusted her.

So the first time she betrayed that trust, I hadn't been devastated, but I had been hurt. Living a life with Viktor had changed me in a lot of ways. Before I had had my human life stripped from me, I had valued everybody. I had been kind to everybody because all I wanted to do was help the people in the world. No matter where I went, I saw pain and devastation and I had wanted to do my bit to help ease some of that pain. Being turned into a vampire had changed all of that. It had me no longer wanting to help the world; it had me wanting to destroy it, to watch it all crumble.

Both Vince and I had been consumed by hate after what Viktor had put us both through and when we finally rid of him, we assumed that would be the end of it. We assumed we'd be able to breathe a little easier because our tormentor was gone.

We'd been naive.

The first day I had met Leah, I'd been sitting on a bench in Bucharest, drowning my sorrows and waiting for night to fall so I could find someone to kill. It was her that had approached me, a bottle of whisky in hand that she promptly offered me. I had barely even gotten the chance to speak when she asked me why I seemed so sad. I didn't tell her, of course, but I hadn't needed to. She just knew. On some level, she knew that I was hurting and she offered me some advice.

Life sucks and it's okay to not always be okay, but there'll come a time when you have to ask yourself whether the pain is worth it. You can't change the past so why keep thinking about it? It'll only hurt you more and nobody deserves that.

Honestly, her advice wasn't needed or wanted, but it did stay with me.

I turned her that very night. She had continuously pestered me about what was going on in my life to make me so unhappy and I finally caved and told her. Truthfully, I only told her to shut her up because she had been getting on my nerves and I'd felt the urge to just snap her neck. Instead, I told her about Viktor. I didn't tell her all the details - only Vince knew those. I didn't tell her about Vince either, purely because of the pact we had made. She had been horrified at first, but she'd come round to the idea pretty quickly. So I hadn't been surprised when she'd asked me to turn her and I hadn't hesitated.

She was always smiling, the happiness practically radiating off her and I hadn't realised how much difference that had made to how I felt. I doubted I'd ever be able to think of my past without grimacing or wanting to kill the first person in sight, but knowing I now had a friend who hadn't been involved in that particular part of me life was refreshing. I even turned Alec years later because I owed Leah for helping me through my all consuming anger and that had been the perfect way to do it. So the three of us became a little group, but more importantly, I had people I could trust and rely on.