Reborn

Chapter Fourty One

"Don't you think it's about time we talked?" I finally gained the courage to break the silence, stepping into our bedroom. "We've been back hours and you haven't said a word."

And I'd been way too emotional to form a simple sentence, I thought to myself.

Shadow sighed. "What do you want me to say, Violet? That I can just forget everything that has happened and we can move on? It's not that easy."

"I didn't have a choice, Shadow. Please... we need to talk about this." I looked at him but he didn't turn to face me. He stood by the window, staring out of it, the moonlight illuminating his skin in a soft glow. Even from my position in the doorway, I could still see the pain etched onto his face, reflected in the glass he stared out of. "Please..."

"Of all people, it just had to be him." He spoke darkly. "The spawn of the one person I hate with every fibre of my being."

"Is that what bothers you most?" I asked, tilting my head to one side as I studied him. He turned to look at me, staring at me flatly but I knew there was more to it than he let on.

"Everything bothers me, Violet! All I do is try to protect you, to make sure you're safe but you sacrifice yourself the first chance you get. What the hell were you thinking?! You could have been killed!"

"I was thinking that I had to save Ric!" I gawked at him. How could he not understand that? "Those were the terms I had to agree to!"

"You could have been killed." He repeated. Then, quietly and with less anger, he said it again. "You could have been killed."

"But I wasn't."

"That isn't the point!" He burst out.

"So why don't you tell me what the point is? Why don't you tell me what this is really about?"

"What are you talking about?" His brows furrowed but the look of alarm that flashed across his features told me all I needed to know. He knew exactly what I was talking about and until he opened up and admitted it, I was only going to continue asking. If this was just about me putting myself in danger then he would have confronted me on the journey home. He wasn't just angry, he was hurting but there was something else. Something I just couldn't put my finger on.

"Are you angry about the kiss or Lukas?" I asked, trying to narrow it down a little.

"Lukas isn't a threat to me." He snorted. "Sure, I was hurt you kissed him and I want to rip him to pieces for manipulating you like that but I know you. You wouldn't have done it if you had a choice."

"But?" I prodded. It was about time he was honest with me ─ and himself. He had a tendency to lie about what really bothered him until he'd almost convinced himself the lie was the truth. Not this time though. If he couldn't be honest now, how could we ever get through this?

He leaned against the wall by the window, eyes shut tightly. He didn't open them as he spoke. "He looks so much like him, Vi. It's like I was staring straight at Viktor himself and knowing that he touched you... I wanted to kill him. I still do."

"But I'm here." I took a step closer to him. "I'm here and I'm okay and we're together."

Shadow opened his eyes and shook his head. "Are we? Are we together? Because it sure as fuck doesn't feel like it. I want to believe we can get past this but can we? It's not just about the danger you continuously put yourself in. It's all of it. You and Lukas is just the icing on the fucking cake."

"There is no me and Lukas and there never will be. I don't want him. For me, there's only you. Nobody else."

"Really?" He wasn't convinced. "I've never believed in the whole mate thing. It always seemed like a lie to me."