Reborn

Chapter Six

People say that time heals all wounds, that eventually the things that you were once haunted by would no longer hold the same significance to your life, the same control. Yet, what is that isn't strictly true at all? What if time doesn't really heal all wounds, what if it just lets them fester?

It was a thought I couldn't escape from considering I had more time than I ever had before. Being turned into a vampire meant that these thoughts would never leave my mind, I was stuck like this for all eternity. So how could time heal these wounds when I would never be able to accept what had happened to me?

I couldn't.

It just didn't seem possible.

Shadow hadn't stopped apologising ever since I'd been turned because he knew that a vampire was the last thing I ever wanted to become. I did tell him that it wasn't his fault but he refused to believe that. It was him that Leah wanted to get back at so it was technically his fault.

There was no point telling him that Leah probably would have turned me anyway, regardless of whether she was angry or not. She was certain our relationship would have been doomed if I'd stayed human and though I hated to admit it, she was probably right.

After all, what kind of relationship could we have had if I'd remained human? I'd have gotten old, gotten wrinkly and then we'd have to start telling people I was his mother rather than girlfriend. Just the thought caused my face to scrunch up in disgust.

It was extremely difficult to adjust to my new life, even though I'd had help. Though Alec tried his best, I knew he was feeling guilty over the fact his girlfriend had caused this so he spent the majority of his time trying to find her.

Ric, however, had been there non stop, telling me I didn't have to kill my victims. The thought of biting somebody though, with the pure intention to drink their blood... well, it wasn't an appealing thought to me, despite the fact I needed it to survive.

I was torn.

So when the day came that I had to drain my first victim, I made sure that we find somebody who deserves it. Though nobody deserves death, I was determined to only drain those that were a danger to others. Believe me, the irony wasn't lost on me as I was now the most dangerous thing to walk the earth (new vampires had a harder time controlling themselves, apparently) but I set on not hurting anyone who didn't deserve it.

The looks on their faces when I told them that would never be forgotten. They had been a cross between shocked and amused, Shadow even claiming that not many new vampires had the resolve and the determination that I do. Whether that was a good thing or not, I still wasn't sure.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Shadow asked me, encasing me in his arms and resting his head on top of mine. I smiled instantly, unable to help myself because this whole heightened emotion thing had me feeling happier than I'd ever been in his presence. Which was weird, considering I had been happy before. I hadn't known that being a vampire and in love would feel like this.

"I don't want to but I know all of you are right," I told him, glancing up at him. "The last thing I want to do is kill someone but I know you can't keep stealing blood bags from hospitals. Patients need those."

Shadow chuckled. "I'm so glad you're still you."

"What does that mean?"

"Not many vampires can think of others so soon after they've been turned," He explained. "Usually the bloodlust takes over and it's the only thing that they can focus on."

I knew he included himself in that and I hated knowing his past still haunted him the way it did. I suppose in a way I had it lucky, being turned by Leah and not someone as psychotic as Viktor. At least she had better intentions than he did, though that was all I could say for her. I wouldn't be able to forgive her, not for a long time, if ever.