Supernatural Imagines 2

{21} Castiel

Requested by: musician12

Castiel imagine based on the song Why Try by Ariana Grande

I've been living with devils and angels, angels, angels

There was nothing you could do to change it. You were a demon. It wasn't your fault that Crowley had a little too much fun with that poor women. It wasn' your fault that the demon gene won over the human gene. None of it was your fault. But, you were trying to change. You wanted to be good. When the Winchesters had found you, their first instinct was to kill you. You were a demon. But, after you explained that you weren't hurting anyone, Castiel defended you. He told Dean and Sam that you were innocent, but that you had to be watched. So, they gave you an option: come with them, or die.

Obviously, you chose to go with them. One of your best and worst mistakes. Castiel had taken up the challenge to help you with everything you were going through. Being a demon and not wanting to kill was a little hard. Somewhere along the way, you had fallen in love with each other. It was the first time either of you had ever experienced the feeling, and it was amazing.

However, before you met the Winchesters, you had never met Crowley. As a matter of fact, he never even knew that you existed. That was until he popped in for a surprise visit. The moment he saw you he knew that you were his daughter. From that point on he did everything to try to get you to work for him and turn against the Winchesters and Castiel. But, you refused, which only made him try harder.

He did everything he could to try to persuade you to kill others. But, with the help of Sam, Dean, and Cas, you were able to resist the temptation.

Realize we're not in the same boat, same boat, yeah

It was hard for you. Almost too hard. You were a demon trying to act as a human. Trying to act as a good human. You never thought you were good enough to be hunting alongside the Winchesters. Let alone, alongside an angel. You were trying to be good, for Castiel, but he was already good. He was perfect.

Kills me how you love me, then you cut me down, I'll do the same

He constantly told you how much he loved you. How perfect you were, demon or not. And how he couldn't live without you. He was always there to support you. But, even with his support, the temptation to kill was strong. Too strong. You caved. It was a criminal who had killed others. He wasn't innocent. He was a nobody, and you killed him.

You remembered walking back to the Bunker that night, blood dripping from your hands, tears streaming down your face afraid of what Castiel would say.

You shakily opened the door, opening it and then walking in. Castiel was alone in the dining room, and as you approached him, worry filled every inch of his face. "Y/N! Are you okay?" he asked you, placing his hands on your shoulders as he searched your body for wounds.

"It's not my blood," you whispered, but he didn't hear you, he was in too much of a panic. "What happened? Was it Crowley? Did he hurt you?" Cas continued to question. "It's not my blood!" you shouted, more tears falling. Cas immediately stopped and scanned your face with a look of confusion spreading across his own. "I don't understand," he replied.

"I'm so sorry Cas, I couldn't help it," you told him and his face hardened. "You killed someone?" he asked. "I was by myself, and the temptation was stronger than it had ever been. I didn't mean to! It just happened," you tried to explain.

"Things just don't just happen Y/N!" he snapped back. "Please, Cas, I feel horrible about it. Crowley he-he tricked me," you tried to tell him but he shook his head no. "The trick was believing that you could be anything but evil. You're a demon Y/N, and that is never going to change no matter how much we all want it to," he responded.