A/N: Triggers- Drug Abuse, hallucinations, mentioned suicide, etc.
AND THIS SHIT WILL BE LONG.
ONWARDS...
You are...my fantasy.
When I saw Viktor for the first time in years, I remembered the magical aura he gave off, accompanied by platinum hair the color of the stars, and the ocean blue eyes you could drown in, I had confessed to him right then and there.
Just my fantasy.
After years of waiting, I wanted him for myself.
I made a wish under the bloodshot sky.
In my room, I looked outside, at the sky painted red with clouds scattered about, their gloomy positions and features warned me not to get my hopes up, but I closed my eyes and prayed that he was joking around.
I believe.
That he really loved me.
That he wasn't lying.
That this would all be a dream when I opened my eyes.
I tried to convince myself...
Over and over...
That he loved me...
But it didn't come true.
I woke up the next morning dejected, lacking any will to keep me going.
Exhausted, I've lost my way.
I got myself out of bed, sloppily dressed myself, and left my house for the first time in days.
Please, take me anywhere.
I wanted to rid myself of the pain, get away from this painful place.
I'll do anything.
Once I left my house, I didn't say goodbye, I didn't look back.
Someone help.
I knew I was broken, yet I still hung onto the hope that Viktor would change his mind.
I know that it's over.
I don't knoe how far my feet had taken me, but I was in a bad part of town, cracked buildings and the scent of cigarette smoke were present everywhere.
Someone help.
I was terrified, dogs barking made me fall and cut myself on broken glass, the pain was tremendous, but it distracted me from Viktor.
The end of you was me.
I held Viktor back for so long, now I was holding in my own emotions, but I could cut, that was a nice alternative. But then I was introduced to drugs, they were nice too.
My fantasy will swallow everything.
The drugs helped me the most, they made me see and think of a world that I could have only dreamed of.
It'll change everything.
One where Viktor loved me, one where I was home playing cards with my family members along with him by my side.
●~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~●
It's just a fantasy.
When the drugs wore off, or when I ran out, I was reminded of the true, horrible reality I was living in.
