Let it be over.
Please, let it be over.
I don't want to live anymore.
♢~~~~~~~~~~~~~●~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♢
Let it be over.
Please let it be over.
I don't want to live anymore.
This is what Yuri thought as he finished his program. The applause was like unecessary noise that gave him a headache. Agape, unconditional and sacrificial love., more like a gaping hole in his heart. Otabek had betrayed him for Mila Babicheva, that strawberry haired skank.
The only hope that Yuri had left was the pained expression Otabek had whenever he was with Mila. It was like he wanted to say something to Yuri, but he didn't want to hurt Mila's feelings.
Yuri crouched down on his skates and cried, he didn't enjoy his skate, he was stressed, his coach said he would quit being his mentor if he didn't do good. His grandfather would be proud of him no matter what happened, except taking the cowards way out, instead of dealing with his problems.
Suicide.
Yuri had thought about commiting suicide for weeks on end, he thought about doing it right before his free skate. He just couldn't take the pressure of competitive figure skating anymore, nor could he take the pain in his heart from Otabek leaving him for Mila.
♢~~~~~~~~~~~~~●~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♢
Otabek wanted to scream from the audience, he wanted to scream to Yuri that loved him and only him.
But he couldn't Mila, was there by his side, swooning over him like he was some type of model. He had to be with her because of one thing:
She blackmailed him, with his own status. People thought he was straight, and she just added to his reputation. Otabek cared about his reputation a lot, but after seeing Yuri's blonde hair and turquoise eyes, he saw his mistake.
He wanted to love Yuri, but he couldn't, all because of the red haired, blue eyed bitch next to him. His heart ached and it might as well have shattered. Otabek took one more look at Mila before doing something he wouldn't regret. "Fuck it." He mumbled, standing up from his seat, he said he wouldn't, but he wanted to and he did.
"Otabek, what are you doing?"
"I love you, Yuri Plisetsky!" He screamed, the crowd fell silent as Yuri looked up from his crouched position on the ice.
Mila grabbed his arm and scolded him, "You are supposed to love me and only me! Otabek, you are not gay and Yuri isn't either, snap out of it!"
People booed Mila's reaction, especially Phichit Chulanont.
"Fuck you Mila! You aren't letting your boyfriend-"
"Boyfriend isn't even appropriate for this, how about your ex." Phichit restated angrily. Mila scowled, that sour look suited her, I smiled at Phichit and he smiled back, reverting to his normal cheerful self.
He's right. Why did I let her trap me in her silly game? I don't love her.
"I love you, Yuri Plisetsky!"
Those words seemed so false to Yuri, Otabek had already betrayed him once, why should he let him back into his life? But in the corner of his mind and from the bottom of his heart, it felt like those words were real.
But he wouldn't listen, he turned to Otabek with cold eyes and skated off the ice with tears on his face, a reminder that he could only hope, he could only believe that Otabek still loved him.
Those words were his last chance to get him out of his withdrawl. But he couldn't assume anything anymore.
He could only hope.
I saw Yuri's cold eyes, they may have come off as cold, but I saw the last speck of warmth in them.
That made me happy, Yuri hadn't given up on me, not yet at least.
♢~~~~~~~~~~~~~●~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♢
Yuri stood atop the ledge of the building where he and Otabek first met, he found himself looking down over the railing onto the busy street, crowded with people, he had to wait.
He had to wait until it was clear so that he would have a clean landing with no complications or suffering.
He sat there and pondered if this was the right decision. He thought about two things, Agape and Otabek.
Agape, sacrificial love, usually at cost to the bearer. Agape puts the beloved first and sacrifices pride, self interest and possessions for the sake of that beloved. That's exactly what he had done, ironically hating the theme Viktor chose for him.
I put everything I wanted first, I even sacrificed the one thing that kept me going, pride. I threw it all away for Otabek Altin, a suave guy who put up a cold front but was kind underneath.
I pulled out my phone and texted him.
Meet me at the place where we first met if you want to help me. If you really care, that is.
- Sent
I stepped on over to the ledge thinking once again.
♢~~~~~~~~~~~~~●~~~~~~~~~~~~~♢
It was time for my free skate, ready to go out there until my phone buzzed. Yuri texted me.
Meet me at the place where we first met if you want to help me. If you really care, that is.
I bolted off of the bench and out the rink. Mila shouting my name after me telling me to come back to her, like I was some damn dog. I hopped on my motorcycle and left her there.
I made it to the building where Yuri supposedly was, running up the staircase as fast as humanly possible. My fist slammed againat the door, I hoped that it was unlocked, and it was.
I saw Yuri stepping onto the railing and I froze. "I hoped you hadn't jumped." I spoke softly, nearly crying at the sight and running towards him.
"...Beka" Yuri turned to face me and time seemed to stop, his foot slipped.
I made it to the railing and caught him, his feet dangling over the side of the building as I held his hand. He looked up at me with wide eyes and smiled. "I knew you'd come."
"I lost you once, I'm not losing you again."
I pulled him up, and hugged him. He hugged me back with all of his might, sniling and crying. "I lost you once,
"It's okay, I'm here now-" I heard sniffles from Yuri as he loosened his grip on me.
"-And I do care."
