Pride

4

"Look how cute you are," I gushed.

Charlotte was in a lavender onesie dress, socks with shoes printed on them to match, and a white scrunchy bow that went around her head. She was laying on her back and trying to grab the toys from the mobile on her play mat. I laid on my stomach and watched the tiny baby stare aimlessly at the toys.

"What on earth are you doing?" Phil asked.
"Just watching Charlotte."
"Are you gonna go out job hunting today?"
"Yeah, I'm going to Starbucks and handing in an application. After that, I'm going to the shops with Charlie to try and find her some decent clothes."
"Sounds like a good plan. Do you need any money? I can loan you a few pounds."
"I should be good; thanks, though."
"Don't mention it."

***

"Hi, I'm Dan."
"Hi," a random employee shrugged. "My name is Carrie; how can I help you?"
"I spoke with someone on the phone about dropping off an application."
"Oh... just put it on the managers desk."
"Where's the manager?"
"At lunch. If you give me your application I can pin it to his door so he sees it."
"Could you? Oh my goodness, that would be fantastic."
"Yeah, it's no big deal," she shrugged.

I handed her the piece of paper and she walked off. As I awaited her return, someone bumped into me.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled. Then, I recognized the voice.

Cassidy... What the hell is she doing in Manchester? Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck.

I held my breath and hoped that she wouldn't notice that it was me.

"Awe, what a cute little baby!" Another girl gasped. "Cassie, look at the baby!"
"I don't want to," she grumbled.
"Oh, get over it! The past is in the past; just look at the kid. She's cute as can be. What's her name?" The girl asked me. I tapped my foot and refused to turn around.
"Hey, my friend asked you a question," Cassidy said.
"Charlotte," I mumbled.
"She's absolutely precious. Ugh, I don't know how you could have given yours up."
"Shut up, Zoe," Cassidy hissed. "Don't say that shit in public. Last thing I need is a total stranger to be judging me on my poor life choices."
"Well, Dan, your application is hanging on the door."
"Thank you so much, Carrie," I whispered.
"Dan..." Cassidy gasped. I pursed my lips, screwed my eyes shut, and turned to face her.
"Hi," I weakly said.

Her mouth fell open as tears started gathering in her eyes. She took a few steps back and gradually picked up her breathing. Neither one of us said anything. Before anyone got to say a word, Cassidy stormed out of the building in tears; he friend chased after her.

"Whoa... what was that about?" Carrie asked.
"It's a long, complicated story that I'd rather not share with a total stranger."
"I can respect that. Have a good day, sir."

***

"If daddy gets at least one of the jobs he applied for, then we'll have a permanent place to stay. And once I start making money, we can go out and buy you some pretty clothes. Doesn't that sound nice?"

I spoke to the sleeping baby as we rode the lift up to our floor. After it dinged, I stepped out and carried Charlotte to our flat. Once I opened the door, I threw my keys on the key bowl, and headed for the lounge.

"Jesus Christ," I sighed.

Phil hung his head over the couches armrest and laughed. David was on top of him, face buried in Phil's neck; probably out of embarrassment.

"Hi, Dan," Phil giggled.
"Why the hell are you dry humping on the couch? You have a room you could do this shit in."
"Cause you weren't home, so I thought what's the big deal?"
"Well, I'm home now. Can you please go in your room?"
"No way, I got home first. Plus, your kid is sleeping; what the hell are you gonna do out here?"
"Y'know what? Whatever, I don't care."
"Are you okay?"
"What are you doing?" David gritted his teeth.
"Oh hush." Phil smiled and kissed him. "Dan, are you okay?"
"No," I mumbled.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't want to take you away from your sexy times. I'll bore you with the details when David goes home."
"Great, come on," David said as he kissed Phil.
"Hold on." He pushed David off and sat up on the couch. He walked over to the breakfast bar and leaned over. "What happened?"
"I saw Charlotte's mum..." Phil's eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"Whoa... are you okay? How'd you handle it?" David got up from the couch and followed Phil over. He wrapped his arms around Phil's waist and started biting at his ear.
"I handled it fine, but she just ran out crying. It was really weird." As I spoke, Phil kept pushing David off. "I'm gonna go to my room now... have fun, guys."

***

Later that night, I was giving Charlotte a bath. She always hated bath-time; the water was either too hot or too cold for her liking, she hated getting wet, and she always somehow managed to get soap in her eyes. As I was washing the soap out of her hair, Phil knocked on the door.

"Come in," I said. "I know, baby, I'm sorry. I'm trying to go as quick as I can."
"Hey," Phil whispered.
"Hi," I mumbled. "What's up?"
"I wanted to apologize for David's behavior today. He's normally not that clingy or possessive. I promise it won't happen again."
"It's fine; I just walked in at a bad time. Next time leave a sock on the knob," I teased.
"Shut up," he chuckled as he nudged my arm.
"Can you hand me the towel on the tap?"
"Yeah, here," he said.
"Thank you."

I picked Charlotte up and wrapped her in a warm towel. I quickly swaddled her and let her rest over my shoulder. I rubbed her back and kissed the back of her head.

"You're getting the hang of this dad thing," Phil observed.
"Thanks," I mumbled.

I sat against the bathroom wall, bent my knees, and let Charlotte lay back on my legs. I kept a grip on her so she wouldn't slip or fall off.

"So how's the job search going? You only have a month left."
"It's alright."
"Where have you applied?"
"Starbucks, some D.I.Y shop, and Tesco."
"And?"
"The shop and Tesco both said that they'll get back to me by Friday. The Starbucks manager wasn't there, so I just left my application with an employee; not really counting on that job," I chuckled. "To be honest, I'm hoping I get the job at Tesco. I could really use a discount on baby food... and diapers... and clothes... kids are expensive..."
"I wouldn't know," Phil shrugged. "Well, I'm headed to bed. I just came in here to apologize."
"Apology accepted," I said.
"Night, Dan... night Miss Charlotte." He lightly pat her head and walked out.
"Night," I whispered.

As I sat on the dirty bathroom floor, I made silly faces at Charlotte. Then, out of the blue, she smiled.

"Holy shit... you smiled at me," I gasped. "Y-You smiled! You've never smiled before!" I beamed from ear to ear as I hugged her. "Oh, my gorgeous little girl, you smiled at me..." I started rubbing her back again. "You have the prettiest smile I've ever seen..." I kissed her cheek. "I love you, goose."