Pride

19

It was a normal Sunday afternoon; I was making lunch for Charlotte and I. She was sitting in her highchair as I played the Guys and Dolls soundtrack over the bluetooth speaker. Bushel and a Peck was on repeat, since it was Charlotte's favorite song. I couldn't help but sing along.

"I love you, a bushel and a peck... a bushel and a peck and it beats me all to heck... it beats me all to heck, how I'll never tend the farm... never tend the farm when I wanna keep my arms about you... about–"

Phil is calling...

"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey! Are you on winter holiday yet?"
"Yeah, I'm off school until January. Why?"
"Well, my family is going down to Florida and I was wondering if you wanted to join us. You wouldn't have to pay a penny; my family will gladly cover the costs."
"I'm flattered, Phil, but David wouldn't want me there."
"Unfortunately, he won't be joining me..." Phil sighed. "Something about work. I don't know, I was fading in and out, if I'm being honest."
"I'd love to join," I smiled.
"Awesome! We leave next week. Oh, by the way, Charlie has a passport, right?"
"Yes, she does," I said.
"Cool, I'll stop by Friday night. Would it be okay if I spent the night? I just thought it'd be easier getting to the airport."
"Yeah... yeah, that's fine. See you Friday."
"See ya."

End Call.

"Cause I love you, a bushel and a peck," I continued. "You bet your pretty neck I do."

***

"Okay do you have everything?" Phil asked.
"I have our luggage by the door, Charlie's stroller and car seat are in the lounge, along with her nappy bag. The carry on backpack, with our tickets and passports, is on the breakfast bar. Am I missing anything?"
"Do you have American adaptors? Your phone? Laptop? Extra food, toys, and nappies for Charlotte?"
"Yes," I said.
"Fantastic, let's go."

We gathered our belongings and left the flat. Charlotte was particularly cranky since she hadn't been fed yet. I tried hushing her by giving her an old teething toy, but it didn't work. Once we got in the car, I had Phil drive as I sat in the back with Charlotte.

"I know, goose," I sighed. "Shh, it's okay."
"Remind me, why didn't you feed her when she woke up?"
"Because I'm gonna have her eat as we're taking off."
"Why?"
"So her ears pop."
"How does that help her ears pop?"
"While she's sucking on the sippy cup and eating her cereal, the pressure won't build up as much in her ears and they'll be able to pop. Trust me, I was up all night researching on what to do for an infant on a plane; I got this."
"Alright, I trust you."

We drove for another twenty minutes or so before we arrived at the airport. Phil parked the car, unloaded the back, and slung the carry-on backpack over his shoulder.

"Come on, then," Phil mumbled.
"I'm coming," I said.

I put Charlotte in her stroller, stuffed her nappy bag underneath, and headed inside to check our bags. Once we got through that simple process, we had to go to security. Since we had an infant with us, we were hoping we wouldn't get questioned as roughly as we normally would.

After Phil and I got through the hard-asses that made up America's security, we headed for the regular TSA security check. We put our belongings on the converbelt and waited to be told to go through the metal detector. As we waited, a TSA lady tapped me on the shoulder.

"Huh? Yeah?" I mumbled.
"Sir, take the baby out of the stroller," she said.
"What? Why?"
"Because it can't go through the detector. Just pick the baby up and carry her through. If she can walk then please have her walk through."
"Fine," I sighed.

I picked the still-cranky baby up and carried her through. As soon as I walked in, it began beeping. I rolled my eyes and told Phil to come through, but the security man wouldn't let him.

"Walk back, give your boyfriend the baby, and come back."
"Fine," I snapped. I did as the man told and the alarm still went off.
"Arms out, legs spread," he said.
"I don't have anything on me!" I fought.
"Dan, knock it off," Phil warned.
"Sorry," I huffed.

I hesitantly complied with the man as he ran the handheld detector over my body. After nothing went off, I gave him a smug smile. Phil and Charlotte joined me once the man let me go. We collected our belongings and headed to our gate.

People sitting around us were giving me dirty looks; Charlotte was still screaming. I let her rest on my shoulder, so I could hug her, but that did absolutely nothing. Thankfully, one of the flight attendants announced that we would be boarding soon.

"We are now seating Zone One. Zone One is for those who have a difficult time making it down the runway and for those have a child under the age of two. Will everyone who has a Zone One ticket please line up at the gate."
"Come on," I said.

Phil and I stood up and waited in line. I had Charlotte on my hip as Phil pushed the stroller along. Before I could hand the attendant my ticket, she stopped me.

"Sorry, only one parent can go at a time. The other is going to have to wait for Zone Four," she explained.
"What? That's ridiculous! I can't get all this stuff on the plane by myself," I said.
"It's quite simple, dear. You give your..." She glared at Phil. "Friend the stroller, you take the infant and her belongings, and take your seat."
"Fine," I huffed.

We moved to the side so other people could get on the plane. I took Charlotte and her belongings and waited to get my ticket checked.

"This is bullshit," I muttered.
"Dan, just stay calm and follow the rules."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," I frowned.
"Sir, your ticket, please."

I handed the lady my boarding pass and made my way down the tunnel. I found my seat and quickly set my stuff up. Once I was all settled, Charlotte started screaming her head off again.

"Oh, I know, goose. I'm sorry... you can eat soon, okay? Ten more minutes."

One by one, people poured onto the plane. As I tried soothing the cranky infant, I kept an eye out for Phil. As soon as I saw him, I got up from my seat and let him in.

"Take her, please," I said.
"Why?" Phil asked.
"Because she won't shut up," I whined. "I'm losing my mind. She hasn't cried this much since she was teething."
"She's starving, Dan, cut her some slack." He cooed at her as he bounced her up and down.

After about another ten or fifteen minutes, the plane started backing out of the terminal. I thanked all the gods as I grabbed a bag of cereal and a sippy cup of milk. Phil handed her back to me as I started feeding her. Once she had a nice, full tummy, she started drifting off to sleep.

"Thank god," I whined.

A few hours passed before she woke up again; still screaming, might I add. I rolled my eyes and got up from my chair. I let her rest on my hip as we walked up and down the aisle.

"Phil, I give up!" I cried.
"I thought you knew what you were doing," he teased.
"Shut the fuck up and take her!"
"I got her," he said. He took the infant from my arms and I plopped back down in my seat.

This is gonna be a long flight.

***

"Oh, sweet land!" I cheered.
"I'm convinced everyone on that flight hated us," Phil said.
"Oh yeah, one hundred percent," I chuckled. "Come on, my parents should have called us a car."