chapter twenty one(pilots)
i didn't expect myself to feel this way.to feel this crushing weight of fear.like i was running in place trying to get away from fear,when all i am is fear.i didn't want to be here.i saw all the boys around me talking to people then ran up and screamed their name,harry had let go of my hand to go take photos with fans while niall stood closest to me,they knocked into me and pushed me around telling me "move me fuck away" this cant happen.they can't see this.so i ran.i ran as fast as my feet could carry me to the bathroom as i saw louis on my tail.harry just stayed there,oblivious to my disappearance.i ran myself into a bathroom stall and threw my hair behind my shoulder and threw up into the dirty toilet.i heard my sobs and felt my warm tears stain and tattoo themselves on my cheeks.i was alone in the stall till i wasn't,louis had dove under the stall and held my back.i wiped my face with toilet paper and fell back crying into louis' arms shaking and barely breathing.
"it'll be ok love."his arms pulled me close to his chest while my tears dampened his shirt."what's wrong?"
"i thought i could do it,i thought i could be strong.for harry.i thought i could come here and face them.show him i was strong enough too ignore their stares and their words.but i'm not.i'm afraid i never will be.my life has changed so much in the last week or however long it's been.for the better.but i'm just scared that i'll go back there and harry will look at me differently.i'm not really sure of what i'm saying.but the point is i can't go back to harry i'm afraid he'll be mad at me for running." louis let out a little laugh and rubbed my back.
"he would never be mad at you for that,that boy is so protective over you if anything he's mad at himself for not being here with you."i nodded and wiped away the streaming tears.
"so what do you propose we do exactly?" my voice was more demanding then usual.slightly raspy.
"i propose we get ice cream and wait for the boys to find us."i smiled a little and nodded.
"that works,and thanks louis.you're like a brother to me and that means a lot to me."he nodded taking my elbows and helping me up.
"now it's just a matter of me escaping the women's bathroom with you."i chucked and grabbed his arm
"three...two...RUN" i pulled him along as i laughed in glee running to the closest place in the food court to get ice cream.
we ordered out ice cream as my phone buzzed.
love:are you ok?
love:why didn't you come to me?
love:i'm so sorry.
love:where are you?
i felt myself tense as louis poked my hand and rose his brows presumably asking if i'm ok.i nodded and wasn't sure what to text back.so i didn't.i want sure what to say.
"we should probably go and find the boys,i assume that was harry blowing up your phone?" i nodded and scratched my head.
we got up from the table as a few considerate fans asked me to take a photo of them with louis and i kindly did.
"hey aren't you dating harry?" i stayed quiet for a few seconds and they decided to answer their own question."well if you are,he's lucky to have a kind a pretty girlfriend.have a good day guys!"my lips formed into a smile and louis rubbed my back and whispered into my ear.
"ya see,they'll love you.i promise." louis,that's a difficult promise to keep.
we walked throughout the mall in search of the boys when i heard a bunch of girls scream,i thought they were just looking at louis when i noticed they were staring in back of us.i turned myself around to see the emerald eyes meet mine.before i could say a word harry had ran over and pulled me into his arms.
"i'm so sorry,i'm so sorry,i'm so sorry." i let out a small whimper and shook my head.
"it's not your fault." his eyes my glossy eyes and he smiled causing me to smile.
i told him to go take photos while i sat on a bench nearby.he sat beside me a few minutes after,his eyes looked hungry and lustful.
"how about we skip the picnic and go back home,i think it'd be best if we didn't put you through anything more." i nodded and he laced our fingers together.
"niall,we're gonna head back home you can hang out here.but can i take your car?" he nodded handing harry the keys,harry snatched the keys quickly taking us to he car and driving us home.
[h a r r y]
i need her.
i need her lips pressed against mine,i need her skin to touch mine.i need her to be close so i can hold her tight and tell her how much she means and how i'll protect her.i have to get home.
n o w
OKOK ILL BE BACK SOON-H
YOU ARE READING
elegantly wasted-h.s
Fanfictionmaybe it could have worked if i tried a little harder pushed a little faster,but maybe it wouldn't have.if only i hadn't fallen into my own thoughts.
