Deception (Clexa)

6

Lexa bravely stood in front of all the press grabbing the microphone that was handed to her. She took a deep breath making sure no more questions would be asked after she'd tell this story of how she survived under crucial circumstances. "I know you all have a lot of questions, and that's why I'm up here to answer them."

Lexa licked her lips unconsciously her mouth all of sudden feeling parched. "Five years is a long time to think about me and it's also a long time to forget about me" Lexa sighed. "You'd think you'd finally be over all the pain and agony. You'd also think you'd stop feeling for the ones you've loved and the ones you'd loved would start to forget you. That everyone dies alone. I wasn't dead. No. But living without the people you love shouldn't you want to be dead?" Lexa spoke with her hands watching everyone listen and understand her words. "I was not held a prisoner I could've left anytime I wanted but if I did I would be putting the people I love in danger. These five years I have been serving aid to people in foreign countries. Shipped place to place putting in the work to help others who are injured. I was respected there they did no harm to me and I was treated well, I could've refused to help their people but I realized that at the end of the day we're all human. Who said that we have to pick a side who engraved these things into our minds. Shouldn't we all have the right to live the way we want to live and believe in way what we want to believe in without the fear of death awaiting for us for having an opinion." Lexa glanced at her hands and then the crowd. "I was not forced to do any of this. I did it with my own will and I'm glad I did. Saving thousands of lives is better than killing thousands." She took a deep breath before finishing her speech. "Sometimes you just know where you belong and this place just wasn't it. I will not be stepping back in as your leader and that's just it" Lexa said with relief like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.

"If you have any questions now, please feel free to ask" the crowd buzzed with noise, asking questions all at once. "Please one at a time" Lexa yelled so the group could hear her. They immediately quieted down listening to the authority of Lexa's voice. "Please raise your hand and I'll call on you" everyone raised their hands all at once, eager to have their questions answered but one hand stood out from the rest. A slightly pale hand with short fingers it was definitely a woman's hand. Lexa could not see the face because of all the crowed people but Lexa pointed exactly to that hand and everyone turned to the person the hand belonged to. Lexa continued to watch as the woman slowly emerged to the front of the crowd standing face to face with Lexa. The crowd covered their mouths but not before letting a small gasped escape from their lips. Lexa knew all along who the hand belonged to. The hand that held her while she slept, the hand that held hers gently and lovingly as they walked through rose gardens, the hand that pleasured her aching core burning every ember inside her body creating something new every time. It was the woman she loved and broke so harshly. It was Clarke. Lexa nodded to the woman standing in front of her.

"I have one question" Lexa was captured by the ocean blue eyes staring right at her. "Why? After all this time?" Clarke breathed. Lexa saw the hint of sadness Clarke was trying so hard to hide even after all this time she could still read her so well. Clarke looked different as expected her hair was shorter and her posture spoke nothing but professional. Lexa could see right through her hard exterior. She finished examining the woman in front of her and pondered before answering the question. "Sometimes you love someone so much that you have to make the decision to finally let them go" Lexa gave Clarke the saddest smile she could ever muster "So that's what I did. I let you go" Clarke stood there staring at the green eyed woman in front of her with tears bottled in their eyes begging to fall. Clarke took a step closer to Lexa before raising her hand and slapping her. Lexa could taste the blood leaking from the corner of her lip. Clarke chuckled "I don't know what's worse thinking you were dead this whole time or realizing that I was that easy to let go." Clarke walked off disappearing back into the crowd gathered around Anya's house. Lexa watched her until she was no longer in sight. She would've ran after of her but she thought how foolish that would be "No further questions" Lexa said before handing the microphone back. Lexa could hear the snapping of cameras and people still calling her name demanding for more answers. She walked back into the house sliding her back against the door as soon as it shut.

Anya stood over Lexa tilting her head trying to figure the woman out "I'm proud of what you did out there" Lexa looked up and wiped her eyes before letting out a strained laugh "Proud of what? Lying to you guys? disowning my country? Or breaking Clarkes heart?" It took all her strength to ask the last question. Anya has never seen her sister so vulnerable and so weak. "I'm so sorry Anya I'm so-" Lexa sobbed burying her face into the palms of her hands. Anya takes a seat besides her. She nudged her a little sister. "I was upset at first and so was Rae but you did what you did for us and I get that but" Anya said pausing. Lexa looked up at her big sister egging her to go on "But?" Lexa said curious of what she was going to say next. Anya smiled weakly "But I don't understand how you could do it to Clarke. I saw the two of you together, I saw nothing but love, hell you quit being the president for her something you worked so hard on becoming so how could you do that to her, write that letter, show up out of the blue with a sorry ass excuse after five years Lexa" Anya stared at her sister before looking ahead "You don't deserve anyone's sympathy you fucked up im telling you this because I'm your sister and I love you so pull your shit together get your priorities straight and get back the love of your life. Five years is enough." Anya stood up and walked upstairs. Lexa sat there shock that her sister had become so blunt towards her.

Lexa had to admit her sister was right, sitting here in a sobbing mess won't fix anything. She understood that Clarke had every right to mad at her but Lexa expected Clarke to come running in her arms to be loving her the way she did five years ago but that was so long ago and everything has changed. Lexa stood up grabbed her coat, scarf, hat and headed for the back door. She needed to talk to Clarke even if Clarke didn't want to talk to her.

.....

"Clarke? Clarke!" Titus shouted trying to get the woman to listen to him. "I know you're mad Clarke but if you'd just-" Clarke stopped walking and glared Titus straight in the eyes. "Mad? I'm furious not only at Lexa but at you for not telling me that she was alive after everything we've been through" Titus stared at the small woman in front of him trying to keep his facade from falling "I know Clarke but Lexa wanted-" that only made Clarke explode "What about what I wanted! Did it ever occur to you that this would effect me or do you even care or are still just Lexa's little pet" Titus didn't let the insult get to him he knows Clarke is just acting out on her feelings "I won't apologize for what I did Clarke, yes I've known Lexa was alive for quite some time now but apologize for not telling you, it was best for you not to know the truth of Lexa's disappearance it would have put you in great danger and I couldn't bare to see something happen to you, you're family Clarke and I wouldn't have it any other way. I was there when you needed me and I'll still be here until my last dying breath if that's what you need" Titus spoke firmly but he was sincere and he meant ever word he said. Clarke took a step back from Titus letting her hard exterior fall for a millimeter second before resuming back to her cold self "What I needed was my wife. Maybe next time you should ask" Clarke walked away leaving doubtful Titus in the hallway to watch her walk away from him.

Clarke made it back to her room after the long day she has had. There was so many sad eyes today asking if she was okay it was like the day everyone found out Lexa was (supposedly) dead. Clarke hated every minute of her day she wished she could go back to her comfortable life with no feelings, no pity and most of all no Lexa. It was a little harsh for her to think such a thing but she had just started getting better at accepting Lexa's absence but now she's back and Clarke wants nothing more to rip her apart like she did to her five years ago. It broke Clarke to think that the love of her life was just gone and never coming back. Clarke opened the door to her bedroom ready to flop on her bed and relax. It would give her time to think about everything that's been going on. As soon as Clarke stepped into her room a person waiting for her on her bed.

"Hi" the woman spoke. "Hey" Clarke was genuinely happy to see her. She ran over to hug her. "I heard what happen so I brought your favorite movies and pizza" Clarke smiled and squeezed her a little tighter. The woman smiled wrapping her arms around her small waist "Thank you Niylah" Clarke breathed while whispering another thank you.