Deception (Clexa)

7

The pizza box was almost empty and they had already gotten through half of one movie. Clarke tried her hardest to pay attention to Niylah's rant about the storyline of the movie but her mind was elsewhere. She hated that Lexa, after all these years still had her hooked on her. Clarke sighed audibly she tried to stop it before it left her lips but it was too late. Niylah took noticed in the way Clarke had spaced out. "Clarke, are you okay?" Clarke snapped out of her thoughts and smiled at Niylah, it was a forced smile but it was the only thing she could forge. Niylah grabbed the remote and paused the movie. "If there's any consultation sweet cheeks, you deserve to be happy. You're amazing Clarke Griffin and when someone loves you they should never want to let that go. Your life doesn't always have to be so serious all the time and it damn sure doesn't have to be filled with pain and misery you deserve better than that" Clarke looked at Niylah in awe. It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to her in a long time. This time Clarke let her emotions get the best of her, she leaned in to kiss Niylah on the lips ever so gently. It intended to be a thank you gesture for being so kind to her but it turned into something more. The next thing Clarke knew she was pulling off her own shirt and climbing on top of her. Niylah held onto Clarkes waist while Clarke kissed her hard and roughly. Clarke fingers slipped down to the edges of Niylah's shirt. She wanted her naked, fast and now. Before Clarke could pull off her shirt, Niylah grabbed her hands stopping her. Clarke looked up at her with a small pout. Niylah could not lie it was the cutest thing she had ever seen.

"You really hurt me Clarke. I can't just be your toy you can just fuck over" Niylah removed herself from under Clarke and got off the bed. "Niy I didn't-" Niylah stopped her before she could finish "I know you didn't that's the thing Clarke. You didn't mean for any of this to happen you just wanted to fool around but I was the fool that fell for you" Clarke looked at Niylah in pity she didn't mean for this to happen. She wished the feelings were mutual but deep inside she knows her heart would only belongs to one. The one. "You should talk to her Clarke, hear her out at least. You shouldn't let this frustrate you so much." Niylah smiled and grabbed her coat heading towards the door. "Niylah wait" Clarke jumped off the bed and ran over to the door capturing the girls lips one last time. Niylah was the first to pull back, she gave Clarke a kiss on the cheek "Bye Clarke" Niylah opened the door and there stood her the competitor that she could never compete with. Niylah slipped passed the woman after giving her a warm smile leaving the two standing in the doorway.

"Lexa?" Clarke said trying to hide the fact that she was utterly shocked to see her. Lexa looked down for a split second noticing her lack of clothes on her body. Clarke caught on and folded her arms over her chest. "Uhm come in" Clarke scurried away from the door to go find her shirt, retrieving it from the bed she quickly put it on while watching Lexa step inside and close the door behind her. Clarke stared a little longer than she attended to. It was only because she was scared to blink. She was scared that Lexa would disappear again. It was ridiculous she knows but she had to have something on her mind to keep her from going insane.

Lexa observed Clarke's facial expressions changing per second, she took slow and steady steps towards Clarke not wanting the woman to run away from her again. Clarke didn't move, not because she didn't want to but because she couldn't. Lexa reached out for her hands. Clarke moved her hands away from hers and wrapped her arms completely around Lexa. Clarke squeezed with the little strength she had left in her after these wild emotional roller coasters.

Lexa held onto Clarke for dear life, neither of them talked they just stood there holding each other and reveling in the moment. Clarke buried her head in the crook of Lexa's neck. Lexa rubbed soothing circles on Clarke's back. Lexa could feel her shirt soaking up tears. Clarke was crying and it broke Lexa's heart. Lexa squeezed the girl even tighter than before.

Clarke eventually pulled away, her cheeks were wet and her eyes held more tears waiting to fall. Clarke took one last look at Lexa and started to sob. The strangest thing was all the anger she had earlier had vanished all that was left was the love she felt for the woman in front of her. Clarke wasn't crying because she was sad, she was crying because Lexa was actually here. All the dreaming and wishing came true and some how they did meet again.

"Clarke?" Lexa put her hand on her shoulder with caution. Clarke's eyes remained glued to the floor. Lexa was torn inside she had no idea how or where to begin to fix them but she'd give her last breath to make Clarke smile again, to hear that sweet sound of laughter, to kiss her lips and melt into her arms but all those things were gone and nothing was left but the pain of the two being apart for five years. Lexa didn't want to know why the dirty blonde was in Clarke's room she didn't want to think of someone else pleasuring Clarke the way she use to. Lexa didn't want to feel the pain that was slowly creeping up her chest and into her heart. She didn't want to feel it, she didn't want to feel it at all. Clarke looked up and saw Lexa was caught in her own thoughts. She reached up and lightly put her hand on Lexa's cheek, thumb unconsciously wiping away her tears. Clarke's touch shook Lexa out her thoughts. Lexa wrapped her hand around the same hand that was on her cheek. Clarke looked into Lexa's eyes trying to find something, anything and then she did, it was pain.

"Clarke...." Lexa said again trying to make a sentence. Clarke took Lexa's hand and guided her to the bed. Lexa followed while taking off her shoes. Clarke pulled back the covers and got in, Lexa followed suit. Clarke wiped her eyes and laid her head on Lexa's chest wrapping a arm around her waist. Lexa wrapped both arms around Clarke and kissed her temple. "Today we pretend" Clarke finally said. She knew she didn't have to explain it when she heard the inhaling and exhaling of Lexa's breathing. They both lay there pretending like nothing ever happened. They pretend that no one took Lexa away from Clarke, that everything was just the way it was five years ago that not a single thing has changed between them. Clarke couldn't cry anymore tears, she had been doing it for far too long. Lexa still smelt like winter night and a cozy fire. Clarke smiled and curled up to Lexa's side the feeling was just too good. Lexa stiffened at first but eventually relaxed into Clarke and held her closer. The two women fell asleep tangled in each other's arms forgetting anything and everything. It was just the two of them and that's what mattered in that exact moment. This was a "hold me I'm falling apart" moment and boy was their world broken.